Confessions of a Confused Extravert

I thought I was very clear on my E/I preference, but I'm finding myself very confused today about the Extraversion/Introversion dichotomy of the MBTI.

This morning, as I sat in the waiting room while getting an oil change, I had a surprising discovery about myself.

When I walked into the room, there were about four other people in the room silently watching a morning show on TV. I found a seat as far away from the others as I could and proceeded to read a book I had brought. With some effort, I was able to block out the sounds from the TV so I could concentrate on my reading.

Then after about 10 minutes, a middle-aged woman in the room decided to make a comment about something that was said on TV, and two of the men responded by saying, "yes, I agree," and "me too," respectively. That opened the flood gates. For the next hour or so, the rest of the waiting room learned all about this woman's life and her views. I don't remember any details, as I was silently screaming "shut the hell up" in my head the whole time, never looking up from my book.

There were people walking in and out, the door opening and closing, the TV blaring, and this woman talking loudly in her annoying voice about her opinions on things...endlessly... It probably seemed more chaotic to me than it really was in reality. I usually pride myself in my level of patience and understanding. This morning was different. I almost had an anxiety attack and was on the verge of taking action I may have lived to regret when the service guy walked in and called my name. God made the word "Hallelujah" for occasions like these...

It is possible that this could just be an isolated incident. However, I thought about it at length and realized that most of the time, I would rather not talk to strangers. When it happens, I do end up enjoying talking to them. But generally, I prefer keeping to myself. I love conversation, but only in intimate settings. Even with close friends, I feel drained if I am around more than two or three at a time. Now that I am thinking about it, I realize this has always been the case. Why did it not become clear to me until today?? Had I been in denial because of my unrealistic expectation of myself to always be the bubbly, outgoing, social butterfly?

There are five E/I facets in the MBTI Step II (Form Q). I am way over to the Extraverted side in only two of the five: Expressive/Contained and Enthusiastic/Quiet. I am midzone in Initiating/Receiving and Gregarious/Intimate and slightly on the Introverted side in Active/Reflective.

I'm beginning to think I'm increasingly inching my way to the "I" side. Hmm...

Presenting "E" and "N"

After I wrote the guest post for the "P" (Perceiving) preference over at Breanne's blog, she suggested that we continue with the rest of the preference pairs. She assigned the "E" (Extravert) and the "N" (iNtuitive) to me, and I accepted the challenge with honor. :-) She will be writing about the "I" (Introvert) and the "S" (Sensing) and posting them on her blog soon.

So I hereby present you with the "E" and the "N":

YOU MIGHT BE AN "E" (Extravert)…

• If you start to say something and cannot figure out where the thought is going, you might be an E.
• If your “I” partner gets frustrated with you because you keep interrupting him in the middle of his statement, you might be an E.
• If pregnant pauses in a conversation make you extremely uncomfortable, you might be an E.
• If everyone recognizes who you are by your loud laughter, you might be an E.
• If you find yourself revealing personal information to people who you’ve just met, you might be an E.
• If you find yourself with the most turns at the Karaoke mic, you might be an E.
• If you’re fond of the phrase “the more the merrier,” you might be an E.
• If you enjoy making eye-contact with complete strangers at the store, etc., and making them smile back, then you might be an E.
• When your partner keeps nudging you and whispering “keep your voice down,” you might be an E.
• If you call to order Chinese take-out and identify yourself as “Hi, it’s me!” you might be an E.

YOU MIGHT BE AN “N” (iNTuitive)…

• If you often start an argument with “What exactly did you mean by that?” you might be an N.
• If you can find a way to use the MBTI in every single part of your life, you might be an N.
• If you can write a Haiku about a fly in your soup, you might be an N.
• If you think time is relative and “late” is just a state of mind, you might be an N. (This is especially true if you are also a P.)
• If you get ripped off by a vendor and you are awed by the brilliance of their marketing strategy, you might be an N.
• If you can easily finish the sentence – “If I were a ____, I would…” you might be an N.
• If you can find a reason to feel sorry for Saddam Hussein, you might be an N.
• If you can see the potential in everyone you meet, you might be an N.
• If you have a “theory” for just about any subject you talk about, you might be an N.
• If you despise routine and you think “same” is a four-letter word that should never be used, you might be an N.

And lastly but not leastly…

• If your “spidey senses are tingling” as you read this, you might be an N. ;-)

You can soon find Breanne's complete preference pairs series at The MBTI Blog.

UPDATE: She has posted our collaborated "You might be an N" list... Fantastique! (That word just came to mind when I wanted to say "Fantastic" in a different language; and after looking it up [come now... read the whole article], it turns out to be the most awesome and appropriate "N" word!!!!!)

Read more >> Options >>