Can I choose NOT to be merry?

November and December are my least favorite months of the year. I start getting into my grumpy mood about the second week in November and don't come out of it until after January.

Perhaps it has something to do with the cold weather. But it's more likely that I become too overwhelmed with the pressures and obligations surrounding the holidays. There are just too many parties, gatherings, collections for the needy, family obligations, hours spent in traffic, and shopping for useless gifts.

I know I get this way every year... and it's getting worse.

You must give, you must love, you must socialize, you must be cheerful, and you MUST ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT... or else! Or else? Yes... or else you are seen as a Scrooge and frowned upon. Or else you are a social misfit. Or else you will live a miserable life then shrivel up and die alone. Oh, really?

When? When did this unwritten social law go into effect?

And that's why I rebel against it. Not because I don't want to give, love, or socialize... but because I don't like anyone else telling me how, when, and whom to love. I don't feel like I have a choice in the matter during the holidays. What happened to our freedom to choose?

Maybe I'll start decorating a cherry tree in April and giving random gifts in August just to throw people off. Hmm...

It's a bad attitude, I know. Shame on me for not enjoying such a joyous time of the year. Is it just me? ;-)

Popularity at what cost?

There is so much talk about the shocking performances at the AMA last night, such as that of Adam Lambert.

It is no shocking revelation that artists will always push the limits and force us out of our comfort zone. That's the beauty and the gift of art. But when does it cross the line? Where is that fine line when art becomes lost in the heap of I-dare-you-to-judge-me stunts? Don't get me wrong... I am not judging the content of the performance. I'm just wondering about the motivation behind it.

This makes me wonder if we, as social animals, all end up selling ourselves short for the cheap thrill of receiving momentary attention and/or admiration? Do we begin to lose our true selves in order to continue pleasing the audience?

If we succumb to the pressure of keeping our fans and constantly having to one-up ourselves, where is the freedom in that?

If freedom of expression is used as a crutch merely to shock people, where is the art in that?

Is it possible to rise above this dreaded addiction to attention? As I sit back and criticize others, I have to admit I often feel it too (the need to dare them, to please them, to prove a point to them... whatever it is, it can easily become a trap and a prison).

Am I showing my age with this view? Am I just not keeping up with what's current? Am I the one who's just not getting it?

Update: I had to revise some of my unfair and harsh statements I had previously written. I apologize if you saw them before the revision. :)

Elephant in the Room

Painting - LeRoy Neiman


The following story is absolutely true, except for the parts that aren't. ;-)

A man landed at an airport in an unfamiliar city. He did a quick scan of the city on his way to meet with a big shot client, and he did not have a very good first impression of the town. This was very unfortunate, as what was about to happen was beyond his wildest imagination. This is how it all began: He posted his "140-characters-or-less" thoughts about his first impression on his personal social media account and went about his business.

An employee of the big shot client saw the man's post and immediately alerted the big shot bosses of his big shot company, who then had to take some big shot action right away. And when the big shot bosses get involved, there has to be big shot apologies, big shot hand-shakes and such… and hopefully, that would be the end… right? Wrong!

A big shot news man wrote a big shot story on his big shot blog about the big shot bosses not taking a big enough action to put an end (once and for all) to any negative comments being made about the big shot hand that feeds us. Never mind our true feelings. We must be always civil, polite, and spread fake love all around... by golly, or else!

"Off with his head!"
"Off with his head!"

The chants could be heard all over the nation.

Words to the wise: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT make less than pretty remarks when an elephant is listening. He will step on you. Why? Quite simply, because he can! And he will not hesitate to call in the rest of the herd to trample you as well.

[ADDENDUM: I'd like to add that there are always 360 degrees of very different views to every story. This is just one. Right and wrong is not my focus.]

Outdoor neighborhood family room, anyone?

I've been reading about ideas regarding the future of children's education over at Peter Gray's blog "Freedom to Learn." One of the commenters there has a blog of his own called Playborhood. On one of his posts, he talks about his plans to design an "outdoor family room" in his front yard where the neighborhood parents and kids can stop by anytime to just hang out.

This sounds like a very interesting and a wonderful concept in theory. But will it work? What do you do with that one annoying neighbor who's loud, boisterous, opinionated, eats all the food, drinks all the beers, and does not have a clue? What do you do with the cliques that will inevitably form? What do you do with that one kid who none of the kids want to hang out with? What do you do with the few women whose main goal in life is to gossip and spread rumors?

Not to put a damper on the plans before they even get off the ground, but I foresee so many of the same problems that seem to surface in any organization, such as church.

There will be the ones who are "in" and who are "out."

Is it just me? Am I just being negative?

By the way, Playborhood is a wonderful blog. He has some great thoughts...