Change is good, right? Anxiety is normal during a major change, no?
I am so anxious tonight. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep. Everything seems so topsy turvy. Things are changing. Tomorrow is the beginning of a new chapter and something I've been waiting for for a very long time...
I've opened the refrigerator at least 10 times in the last 30 minutes and can't find anything I want to eat. I've checked and rechecked my list for tomorrow. I think I'm prepared. Why am I so nervous?
On my way to the refrigerator yet one more time, I thought perhaps I should just write about my anxiety to relieve some pressure. But what do I say? The words are not there. I may start a series of posts journaling this new adventure. Who knows? I have not decided.
To add to the madness of it all, I've completely turned my business upside down. It has always been a losing proposition. I was giving away more than I was bringing in and hated having to promote myself. I never wanted to start the business. I just wanted to help people. But I somehow got roped into the mindset that I must make a profit with my newly acquired knowledge/skills. I knew deep down that it would not work.
I've decided to turn the MindBlink business site into a just-for-fun playground to showcase and promote other talented people, randomly chosen by me. It will no longer be a profit-oriented business, but a place for me to have fun and use my creativity to encourage others who are brave enough to pursue what they are passionate about. I will continue to offer my MBTI services to whoever is interested and as give-away prizes, but I'm done promoting myself. I'm choosing to shed the weight that was making me sink deeper into the dark hole called
"need-to-suceed".
On the home page of the site, I state my reason as follows:
"Why? Because I can!"
I'm too old (and too stubborn) to play the game of worldly success. Instead, I want to use my gifts and resources to encourage other creative people to go after their dreams. That, my friends, makes me feel like I can breathe again.
As to the other (big) change I mentioned earlier... I'll keep you posted!
Ciao! :-)
