Is Religion Selfish?: My thoughts after watching "To Verdener" ["Worlds Apart"]

self⋅ish

  –adjective

1.	devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

2.	characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives. (Dictionary.com)

I’ve come down with a cold, which gave me an excuse to mope around in front of the TV and get a chance to flip through the recorded movies on our DVR (we record random foreign movies that look interesting), and I stumbled upon a thought-provoking movie.

The movie is based on a true story about a 17-year-old girl struggling to deal with the clashing viewpoints between her faith and the realities of the world around her. She has a loving family and is deeply devoted to her church until she meets and falls in love with a boy who does not share her beliefs, at which time she begins to question the ideas which she had previously blindly accepted. She is then rejected by the church and also by her family, who essentially has no choice if they are to remain in their faith. She tries fervently to maintain her relationship with them, but to no avail.

In the final scene, she is confronted by her father after she has made an unwelcome appearance at the funeral of an old friend. I cannot remember the exact wording in the dialogue, but it went something like this:

Father: It was selfish of you to have come. Don’t you know it’s painful for us to see you?

Sara: Dad? Do you love me?

Father: What kind of question is that? Of course I love you very much.

Sara: Do you love God more than me?

Father: Yes… I do.

Sara: Why?

Father: Because he’s my father in heaven. Because he created me. Because he promises me an everlasting life…

Sara: Dad, you are the one who is selfish.

She then walks away.

It’s a powerful statement and one that is worth pondering.

(Side note: The religion in question is Jehovah’s Witness… but I intentionally did not mention it above, because it may then be shrugged off as a story about cults. But it’s more than that. I think the message can be applied to any dogmatic belief system, religion or otherwise, wherein we can lose sight of what’s right in front of us in our attempts to chase the rainbow.)

(Check out the Danish movie, Worlds Apart, if you get a chance.)

"Please Don't Label Me" bus campaign

This is a bus campaign recently launched by the British Humanist Association. Many Christians are outraged by such ads. I have had mixed feelings about previous bus ads and billboards being promoted by various secular and humanist groups.

I have to say, though, this one is clearly not an anti-Christian or pro-atheist message.

I like it. Okay? So go ahead... Beat me over the head with a Bible.

Wrong on every level

The following story was recently posted on the Christian Science Monitor site.

May I just say that it's just plain wrong and puts another bitter taste in my mouth for religion in general? Pe---tui!! (Read for yourselves.)

Biblical anti-Obama slogan: Use of Psalm 109:8 funny or sinister? | csmonitor.com

Food for Thought...

Aristotle said:

We must not listen to those who advise us "being men to think human thoughts, and being mortal to think moral thoughts," but must put on immortality as much as is possible and strain every nerve to live according to that best part of us, which, being small in bulk, yet much more in its power and honor surpasses all else.

Fair enough... It is a frame of mind which is very honorable and something to strive for, indeed. I, myself, wish that I could remain in that mindset. But I stray. Do we not all stray?

I am one of those who often point out that "being human is being human." I am not looking for excuses to be complacent or to behave badly. There is another reason. I see other people behaving in ways that I tend to judge as bad, weak, selfish, etc., and I fail to remember that I, too, can be bad, weak, selfish, etc...
In order for me to accept others as they are, I must first accept that I am a fallible human being as well. I may sound like a broken record if I quote Anais Nin yet again (as it is one of my favorite quotes), but it is very appropriate here and so true:

We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.

At the same time, I am the first to point out when something seems out of line. I immediately try to judge whether something is good or bad. But why do we always focus on what is good or bad? What is noble or unworthy? What is right or wrong? Who gets to decide? Yes, I am a Christian and I believe in what Christ has done. But what of those with a different set of beliefs, even within the Christian community? Are they not valuable and worthy human beings? In addition, the judgments are often based on what I see and what I know. But there's so much more of what I don't see and what I don't know. Logic would dictate, then, that my view is very much incomplete.

I find myself falling into my own square trap again and again. Before I know it, I am back in my box staring at the same old boring walls. My ongoing battle is to keep ramming my head through to the other side for another view. It gives the phrase "banging my head against the wall" a totally new meaning, doesn't it? I am forever wishing that others would venture outside of their boxes and try to see things from other angles. Why people are content with what they already see and not interested in seeing more is beyond my understanding. But... perhaps that, too, is just my narrow view.

I'd like to suggest that we look at another side of the idea of "strain[ing] every nerve to live according to that best part of us." Those of us who strive to be a better human being... what does "better" mean? Does the "better" not indicate that we are comparing ourselves to those who are "worse?" We do not see what is behind the eyes of those people we judge.

Psychology of Eve - Another Perspective

When I started this blog last year, I had every intention of focusing only on my experience with the MBTI and keeping it light and fun. I had another blog which I had decided to place on hiatus where I used to write about spiritual issues. Before I knew it, I lost my focus, and I have no idea where this blog is going. Go figure! It's not unlike the way I do everything else in life. Staying on track is extremely difficult for an ENTP.

So here I continue with my tangent that I started yesterday about religion:

Hugo posted a new blog post about how people interpret the Bible differently and gave this link at the end of his post. It is an interesting perspective of a Bible passage written by RLP (Real Live Preacher). I've been browsing through RLP's blog and found his video recommendations on how to read the Bible - also very interesting...

RLP's writing reminded me of a story of Eve I had written some time ago on the old blog.

My interpretation of what happened in the garden (Gen 2:15 ~ 3:13):

Eve was a gift to Adam. The moment he saw her, he immediately loved her. She came out of him. She was a part of him. He knew he would never be whole again without her.

Eve suddenly found herself standing before Adam as the object of his affection and love. He was everything to her. She liked the feeling of being needed, wanted, desired. The more Adam gave to her, the more she wanted of him. She soon realized that Adam was willing to do anything within his power to satisfy her. She could ask him for anything, and he provided. He ruled over the land and all the other living things. His knowledge and wisdom came directly from God, and there was nothing that Adam was not able to produce for her.

This puzzled and intrigued Eve very much. Adam seemed to have a special relationship with God that she did not have. She was not a part of it. She wanted Adam all to herself. She did not want to share him with God. She was also envious of Adam's abilities that she did not have. Why did she always have to look to him for her needs? She wanted to be able to do things for herself. She wanted to do what he could do.

While she was sitting and sulking one day, a serpent slithered towards her. It looked directly into her eyes, and it was as if its thoughts were speaking to her thoughts. These thoughts were powerfully hypnotizing and seemed to take control of her mind. The serpent understood all that she had been feeling. He told her she had every right to be upset over the relationship between God and Adam. Adam should rightfully be all hers. She should be number one to him, not God.

He was the one who mentioned the tree. He asked her about the tree. He asked if God himself said that they shouldn't eat from any tree in the garden. She thought about it, but could not remember exactly what Adam had told her. She remembered that it was the tree in the middle of the garden, but no other details. As a matter of fact, Adam told her that God gave him the instructions before she was even created. God had not spoken directly to her. She suddenly wondered why. Was she not good enough? She couldn't have her new friend thinking that she was not very intelligent.

She just blurted out, "Ummm... You must not eat from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and... um... oh yeah, you must not touch it either, or you will die."

Her friend chuckled and said, "You will not surely die. Do you realize how silly that sounds? How can you die from eating a piece of fruit? That doesn't even sound logical, does it?"

He kindly looked at her, and he seemed so smart and wise. He made her feel validated.

She asked him, "Then why would God not want us to eat the fruit?"

He smiled and gave her the most amazing information by saying, "The tree is called the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. God knows that if you eat of it, you will become like Him and be able to know all that he knows. You will become self-sufficient. He knows you will then no longer need Him. That's what he does not want."

He added, "It's strictly up to you, but I don't see anything wrong with becoming like God, do you?" He then slithered away.

Eve was very tempted. He said she could be just like God. That would mean that She could finally have Adam all to herself. In addition, she can begin to provide for herself without depending on him. She will have to convince Adam to eat the fruit also. If the serpent happens to be wrong, and if something bad were to happen from eating the fruit, she definitely did not want to be alone. She knew there were risks involved, but she thought it was definitely worth a try.

When she proposed the idea to Adam, he was clearly upset. She'd never seen him so confused. However, she knew she could somehow convince him of the idea. She was going to get her way if it was the last thing she did. She pleaded with him to listen to her. She wanted him to see how much she loved him and that they could be happy together without God always having to be in the middle of it.

She brought him to the tree and showed him how harmless and delicious the fruit looked. She touched the tree. Nothing happened. She reached up and picked a fruit. Nothing happened. She looked into Adams eyes and took a bite of the fruit. It tasted amazing. She closed her eyes and waited. Nothing happened.

The bewildered look in Adam's eyes began to soften. He was now puzzled. She smiled and picked another fruit. She handed it to Adam. Adam stood in front of her with the fruit in his hand, and he looked so handsome, so brave. She told him how much she admired and respected him.

He slowly brought the fruit to his lips and took a bite. He did not die. But in that moment, EVERYTHING changed. They saw things that they did not see before. They felt things that they did not feel before. They looked down and suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable about their nakedness. They were filled with fear. They ran for cover to hide from each other. They found fig leaves and sewed them together to cover their bodies.

Shortly thereafter, they heard God walking through the garden. They were terrified that He would find them in their current state, so they hid behind the trees. God called to Adam, and Adam had to answer him. He tried to explain to God that the reason he was hiding was because he was ashamed of his own nakedness. He wanted God to know that he still loved Him. God asked him if he ate the forbidden fruit. Adam pointed to Eve and tried to claim his innocence. After all, God gave her to him. He could not take the blame.

God then turned to Eve and spoke to her. This shocked Eve, in that this was the first time that God spoke to her directly. It somehow gave her a sense of importance for one fleeting moment. Then she was filled with fear again. What will become of her? She had to think of something to save both Adam and herself from this interrogation. She then decided to reveal her source. In her mind, that was the only way. She had to hang onto their survival even at the cost of betraying a friend. She divulged the information that the serpent had given her. She told God that she did not want to listen to him, but that he deceived her and convinced her into believing him.

She had no idea of the truth that she spoke...

As we approach Easter...

Here they come again, the Bible toting evangelists! Why do they always travel in packs?

I take a deep breath and force a smile.

“No, thank you! I belong to the Catholic church,”

I say politely and walk away. I had not been to mass in months, but that seems to always do the trick. In the past, I had tried simply saying, “No, thank you,” but that tends to give them ammunition to push harder. They start spewing nonsense about Jeeee-sus that leaves such a fowl taste in my mouth about religion in general.

That was my mindset only five years ago. That’s how I saw it, and I knew I did not want any part of what they were offering.

As a child, I was always fascinated with the concept of God of the universe. I used to sit and look at the sky, the clouds, the trees and the butterflies… I used to wonder if there was something that is bigger than all of us, bigger than this world. When I felt like a stranger in a land full of eyes judging me, I’d smell the trees, the rain, the fresh dirt… I’d feel the warmth of the sun and the soft wind caressing my face and be comforted. Perhaps I always knew that unconditional love is the essence of God.

When Christ presented himself to me, I somehow recognized him. He liberated me from the darkness that I never realized that I had been in. When I stepped into the light, it was as if I had always known him. But who is “him?” They told me his name was Jesus. But if they had not, would I still have been drawn to him? If I knew of nothing that he had done or who he was, would I still have known his truth, his love, that breathed a new life into me? I believe I would have.

A new perspective in a new mirror… it is the reflection I see in the eyes belonging to Unconditional Love. He said, “Look at yourself through my eyes; not the world's.” I find myself walking a tightrope. When I look straight ahead at the truth of love he speaks, I am fearless and free. I take steps in confidence. When I look away, I wobble and lose my balance; but with each wobble, it takes less time to find his gaze again.

But the best part about being a Christian is that although I continue to trip and stumble, I will never fall to my death. I can be free of the world’s eye of scrutiny and know that fear does not have any power over me. And above all, religion does not have any power over me.

Remembering a Christmas spent with the atheists

photo from NANA Astronomy Pic of the Day

The word atheist used to make me cringe. How can anyone even fathom that there is no God? I have close family members who claim to be atheists. It is the common thought among Christians, when they hear that someone does not believe, to see them as lost souls... dead spirits. Then the work begins to try to convince them otherwise. If I know something to be true, how can something else in opposition also be true? was the question. The answer always came up that they must be wrong and should be fixed. Isn't that how we tend to look at everything? good or bad. right or wrong. Good or bad is a concept made up by humans in order to judge others and ourselves, IMO. It is my understanding (one view) that it all started in the garden when man wanted to be like God and decide what is good and what is evil.

About a year ago, I jumped into discussions at a highly intellectual philosophy blog run by a Christian and an atheist where I completely humiliated myself. The atheist encouraged me and helped me get back on my (blogging) feet (Thanks, Matt!). I then went looking for more atheists at another blog called the Friendly Atheist (FA). I used to think the name was somewhat oxymoronic because of my distorted view caused by...well...ignorance. There, I found people just as human as the rest...some very friendly and some not so friendly. But they were real. They were not all the same. Their beliefs or non-beliefs varied just as much as the believers. We are not in opposition. There is no line. Our beliefs all fit somewhere along the spectrum of beliefs, the way I see it.

I spent my whole Christmas season among the atheists (on the blog) and felt like they were my extended family. In some ways, I felt closer to them than my Christian friends. That's where I met Richard Wade. As I laughed, played, and argued with them, I slowly washed away my bias. There were some rough and painful verbal exchanges, and I cannot say it was always an easy experience. But if it involves human interaction, easy is not a word that would come to mind. I was determined to do whatever was necessary to be rid of my "religious" judgmental mentality. Richard was there to help me through it all and became (and remains) one of my very dear on-line friends who often show me how things look from another angle. I saw the perspectives that I never saw before. I did not become an atheist. They did not take God away from me, as many Christians would fear. I just learned to appreciate people who have very different views than the one I see. Many of them have left the blog since then. I, too, don't visit as much anymore. We all have transitioned into other things in life, I suppose. But today, I am remembering Claire, Mriana, Jeff, Maria, Ash, Darryl, NYatheist, AJ, Karen, Mike, MTran, Spursfan, and others whose names escape me. They all taught me so much.

I will always remember my one (first) holiday season spent with the atheists.

I saw Mars next to the moon on December 23, 2007. Richard pointed it out on one of his comments on FA.

On December 1, 2008 (two days ago), I saw Venus and Jupiter clustered together with the moon, lighting up the sky.

The universe is just so vast, too awesome to stay focused only on what seems to be true in our own little narrow view of life.

Guest Post: Confessions of a Sofhearted Scrooge

The following is a guest post by Richard Wade:

(Reprinted from a post on Friendly Atheist, December, 2007)

Christmas time is a pain in the neck for me. But this year I’m trying to be a nice atheist.

Today I went to the hardware store for a light bulb and some batteries. The place had transformed since I’d been in a few days ago, from hardware store to mondo-bizarro-psychedelic-drug-trip-surreal-fantasy-forest. On my left there was a nine foot tall purple and white inflated penguin with snow cap and scarf, as if a monstrous Chilly Willy had been considered for the climax of “Ghost Busters” before they settled on the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. On the right was an army of plastic snowman families dressed in Dickensian clothes huddled together as if for warmth, singing carols. In front of me was a larger than life statue of Santa Claus wearing shades and straddling a Harley Davidson motorcycle with recorded Christmassy versions of “Born to Be Wild” and “On the Road Again” coming from a speaker in his chest. Beyond that was literally a forest of ready made artificial pine trees decked out with every toy-snowflake-bulb-trumpet-ribbon-angel-elf-snowman-reindeer-tin soldier-candycane-package-harp-star-sleigh-icecicle-teddybear-drum-locomotive-doll-bell-resembling, but still unidentifiable object that could ever come out of the scrambled minds of a thousand psychotic Christmas product designers.

If I was struck sharply on the head, given large doses of PCP, methamphetamine and LSD and suddenly transported into the center of an extraterrestrial civilization all in the same instant the experience would be similar but less disorienting than walking into that former hardware store.

The place was crowded and people were almost frantic in their searching and buying. As I stumbled through the labyrinth of lunacy to where I thought the batteries and light bulbs used to be, a woman nearby was looking at a box of exterior Christmas lights and saying, “Look Honey, these change different colors and flash at different speeds. Let’s get these.” My befuddled mind flashed back to 1962 “light shows” with colored lights pulsing to the rhythm of rock music.

I found my merchandise and prepared to escape with what shreds of sanity were still mine when I saw a display of several shelves of plastic nativity scenes with the Holy Family, animals and manger. On the base of each one was a red button labeled, “Try me!” I pressed the button and a recorded voice started saying “When Jesus was born in Bethlehem…blah blah,” followed by some of the more religious Christmas carols. There were eighteen Nativity Scenes on display, so of course I pushed every button. “When Jesus was born…” “When Jesus was…” “When Jesus…” The cacophony of eighteen of them all going at once in staggered sequence was impressive and it continued for several minutes as I left the store, somehow feeling better.

When I got home my lovely, wonderful, deserving-of-anything-I-can-give-her wife said, “Richard, we’ve got to get the Christmas cards sent out.”
Now I’m trying to be a nice atheist this year so I said, “Ohhhhh, okaaaay,” muttering “humbug” under my breath. So I pulled this big carton out from the garage that has 37 pounds of old leftover Christmas cards. We buy them by the boxful to try to save some money and we end up with leftovers. There are pretty ones and funny ones, but no really religious ones. Some say, “Merry Christmas,” or variants of that, some say, “Happy Holidays,” or variants of that, and a few odds and ends mention Hanukkah. The reason we have so many leftovers is because our family and friends fall into so many categories: devout Christians, not-too-heavy Christians, observant Jews, unobservant Jews, a few Buddhists and of course other nice atheists like me.

So we had to carefully sort out who gets what kind of card. Some of the devout Christians are getting touchy lately about sentiments that don’t mention the word “Christmas.” They’re not happy with “Happy Holidays.” The not-too-heavy Christians are fine with anything except of course the Hanukkah ones. Our observant Jewish friends don’t complain, but we don’t really want to send them one that mentions Christmas. Our unobservant Jewish friends don’t seem to mind either way, but still it would be better that they get a Hanukkah or at least a “Happy Holidays” variant. The Buddhists welcome any good wishes even though they know it’s all an illusion. Finally the nice atheists (like me) don’t care much one way or the other but if we send them either kind of card they might think I’m starting to get religion and I wouldn’t want that. But then we don’t want them to get nothing….

Then there was the problem of whether or not we sent a person one of these cards before. We don’t want to send anybody the same card twice. Most of them are pretty smart and would remember a duplicate even if it was several years ago. Some of these cards are getting really old.

All this took a lot of time and I was tempted to chuck the whole carton into the fireplace and print up my own cards that say:

“Wishing that you don’t get seriously injured while fighting in the tiger shark feeding frenzy at the mall trying to find thoughtful and valuable gifts for everybody else who’s out getting stupid cheap stuff for you that you won’t like but will have to pretend that you do and trying to avoid going broke in the whole nonsensical process, in observance of whatever the heck holiday you celebrate, if any.”

But I didn’t do that, because I’m being a nice atheist.

Later my lovely, wonderful, deserving-of etc. wife said, “Richard, could you put up the Christmas lights and set up the tree while I’m at the market? I know it’s a pain in the neck for you, but makes me happy.”
“Ohhhhh, okaaaay.” I said, muttering “humbug” under my breath again. She’s just barely a deist but she has fond childhood memories attached to all this paraphernalia so hey, if it makes her happy, what else is important? So I dragged out several boxes of Christmas geegaws for inside and out without complaining the way I usually do. And this year, just to be a nice atheist, I removed the sign from the front door wreath that says,

“Co-opted pagan symbol displayed for traditional purposes only; no religious affiliation implied.”

This year I’m going to be a nice atheist, dammit. If the neighbors mistakenly assume I’m a Christian, so what? Screw ‘em. (muttering “humbug” under my breath)

Risking life and limb teetering on a ladder I put up the exterior lights around the eves of the house, a string of colored ones and a band of white ones supposedly resembling icicles. That’s weird too. It hasn’t snowed here since 1951. Only here in Lotus Land would people use lights to imitate icicles. My neighbors compete by the thousands of kilowatts to express who is the most frikking joyful, making the neighborhood look like an electrified Currier and Ives lithograph on steroids. I’ve heard icicles can kill people back east. I hate snow. It almost died in it. Humbug.

Oh for the days of my youth when front yard Christmas decorations were sensible like the tumbleweeds painted white and stacked up and decorated to look like snowmen. Decorations with deep meaning like the two Santa feet sticking out of the chimney or the all-aluminum Christmas tree, dazzling in the color-changing floodlights on the dichondra, or the glowing plastic camels carrying guys looking like bin Laden marching toward a glowing plastic manger, overseen by a much larger glowing plastic Rudolph. Those decorations were tasteful and meaningful. What has become of it all? (sigh) Humbug.

Season’s Frikking Greetings.
Richard

MBTI Type and Humor

WARNING: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. THIS POST MAY BE CONSIDERED OFFENSIVE TO THOSE WHO LACK A SENSE OF HUMOR AND/OR WHO TAKE LIFE WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.

If that is the case, try to lighten up, will ya?

This piece about religion and type was recently brought to my attention, and I found it to be absolutely hilarious (and quite insightful).

That got me wondering whether our preferences influence our ability to appreciate different types of humor. I'm guessing that would be the S/N preference...?

Thank you, Richard, for the link.

Not Ashamed to Love

It's no secret. I am a "born again" Christian. Wait! Don't leave! I'm not here to force my spiritual beliefs on you. Anyone who knows me well also knows that I have a soft spot for atheists. Actually, I want to have respect for people even (and especially) when they have differing views than myself regarding...just about everything. I see everyone as my teachers. They all teach me something I may not already know.

There is such a controversy and turmoil surrounding religious beliefs all over the world. And words like "born-again" and "atheist" make so many people cringe. My rebellious nature wanted to explore and find out for myself who these "atheists" were that are said to be so awful. About nine months ago, I began by joining in on their discussions on a blog called the Friendly Atheist and getting to know them. REALLY know them. Genuinely know them.

There is a quote by Henry David Thoreau which I love:

"Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?"

That is the purpose in everything I do these days... to be able to see other perspectives... and to teach others to see them as well.

We are not that different. We are all unique in our own way, and yet we are all the same. If we just stop for a moment to look without the clouded lens... and listen, really listen, beyond the noise and the chatter, then we can see and hear a whole new perspective that we had not seen or heard before. And it is not right or wrong as we had thought... it is only a view from a different angle.

As far as the spiritual part goes, if you know what you know to be true for you... then what can possibly change that? Will respecting and loving each other change that?

The reason I am writing these thoughts here is because it is my passion to share what I have learned about people. It is my passion to learn and share the perspectives that are different from my own.

I want to learn about the different beliefs. I want to learn about the different cultures. I want to learn about the different lifestyles. I want to learn about the different personalities. I want to find out what and how others think. I want to learn what makes each of us unique and still fit into the big picture like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. I believe that realizing and accepting our differences can teach us that we are also very similar, and... everything is connected. I tried to illustrate that in my video, but it's only one person's view. I know I am but one small insignificant note in the symphony of humanity.

The reason for my involvement with the MBTI stems from that.