On Father's Day...

I’ve had the pleasure of watching a gifted writer grow from a delightful little girl into a lovely young woman with a bright future ahead of her. Recently, I was allowed a small peek into the precious and vulnerable words written from her heart. I was so moved by her writing that I asked for her permission to post it on my blog as a Father’s Day post. I promised her anonymity, as she was too shy to let anyone else read it, including her own parents. I hope someday, she will have enough courage to share it with the wonderful people she loves…

I wonder if he has freckles dotting the corners of his eyes, like I do… if his ring fingers are double-jointed, like mine are…if I interited my stubborn spirit and insatiable sweet tooth from him.

I’ve crafted him in my imagination as a cross between Superman and Old Saint Nick, the perfect combination of love and strength. He sill sweep me up into his arms and hold me so close that I can smell his breath, a mixture of peppermint and tobacco, and the unfamiliar scent of the years I have missed. I will murmur words of comfort into his ear as he struggles to find words big enough to tell me how much he loves me.

I already know I will forgive him.

There’s only one flaw in my plan, though: my father left twelve years ago, and he hasn’t yet come looking for me.

I’m afraid I won’t recognize him, though, for I can only remember my father by the one photo I have of him. In it, he is squinting into the camera, shielding his eyes from the sun, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his lips, his other arm wrapped tightly around me like a cocoon. I wonder if he knew, even then, that he wouldn’t see any of it: my preschool graduation, as I pranced across a makeshift podium; my first dance, Hawaiian-themed, as I returned home with stars in my eyes, a wilted lei draped around my neck; or my first varsity tennis match, where I marched off the court with my head held high, saving the tears until I fell into my mother’s warm embrace.

But despite his mistakes, and all the memories he missed, I always wanted him back. When I was younger, I would clasp my hands and squeeze my eyes tight, afraid that if I peeked, God wouldn’t bring him back. I asked for a daddy who would help me with my homework every night. A dad who would skip his football game to help me learn to rollerblade. Someone who would love me more than love itself, who wouldn’t be dragged from me come heaven or hell. Someone who would give up his life if I couldn’t be a part of it.

Someone like the man my stepfather has been for nine years.

It’s funny how, oftentimes, you don’t realize what’s right in front of you because you’ve been looking back for so long. I sought love, acceptance, and comfort from the man who left me willingly, never realizing that I had it all in another father ready to step in. A father unrelated by blood, but bound by something a thousand times stronger.

~ H.

Happy Father’s Day… to all fathers out there… those who are truly present, as well as those who are only able to love from afar.

Generation RX, the documentary

I recently watched an important film by Kevin P. Miller (@kevinpmiller), Generation RX. I ordered the DVD through the website, but you can also find it on Amazon.

We watched the video as a family, and we were captivated throughout. My teenage children, who are 17 and 15, sat through the entire length of the video. I was pleasantly surprised that they were able to sit through a documentary, which does not happen too often. We then had a long, sometimes heated, discussion about the issue. It made all of us think.

Generation RX is a compelling documentary which contains disturbing and alarming information everyone should be aware of before considering ADHD or anti-depressant medications. The doctors will not tell you about it. The drug companies will not tell you about it. You need to be proactive in obtaining your own information to decide what chemicals you are putting into your child and yourself, especially when it comes to altering the way our brains function.

In today's acronym-happy, take-a-pill-to-cure-all society, the only party who stands to benefit may be the drug companies.

It had been suggested to me repeatedly that my son may have ADHD during his first few years in grade school. After doing some research, I chose to ignore those suggestions, and he is now a perfectly normal and active 15-yr-old who makes the honor roll every year.

On the flip side, though, I don't think the other side of the issue was fairly represented in the video. I found myself hoping and waiting for a segment that presented the opposing side who believes in the effectiveness of the medications. It's hard to be pragmatic without looking at both sides.

I wanted to hear some stories of those whose lives were improved because of the drugs, and could they have used an alternate approach? There are shocking correlations between these drugs and violent behaviors, but do they actually "cause" those behaviors? It's hard to tell. However, it cannot be ignored or taken lightly, especially if you or your children are on these meds.

Do your research. Watch this video. Look around and realize just how many people are taking these medications in your own circle of influence. Think for yourselves. Don't let the drug companies do the thinking for you and decide the future of your children.