Is critical thinking too much to ask?

I did it again. I turned into a raging lunatic foaming at the mouth at the sound of those detested words:

“We cannot give you a reason; that’s just our policy.”

I consider myself a patient and accepting person, but being told to follow the rules without logic or reason is one thing that makes me go blind with fury.

I used a $20 coupon at a store last week, which could be used on any two printer cartridge packs. I won’t tell you which store it was in order to protect their reputation… but let me just say that the name of the store rhymes with the word Bosco and you can buy items in bulk with a membership. :) (And please note that I generally LOVE this store - I'm not trying to bash it.)

Anyway, with the coupon, I purchased two different cartridges for my two printers at home. I will refer to them as P1 and P2 for the sake of this post. Upon arriving home, I realized I should have purchased P3 instead of P2. I decided to return the unopened P2 package and exchange it for P3 and either pay or get a refund for the difference in price. The $20 coupon would still apply. Simple enough, right? Apparently not.

I arrived at the return counter with the P2 and my receipt, upon which the following ensued:

Clerk 1: “Ma’am, you need to bring back P1 along with P2 in order for us to give you a refund.”

Me (voice level 1): “uh… I don’t want a refund. I just want to exchange P2 for P3. The coupon would still apply.”

Clerk 1: “You cannot get P3 in place of P2, because the price may be different.”

Me (voice level 1.5): “I understand that. So tell me what the difference is, and we’ll go from there.”

Clerk 2: “We need the P1 before we can do any kind of a transaction.”

Me (voice level 2): “I want to keep the P1. In fact, I’ve already opened the package and the cartridge is in my printer. I just need to exchange P2.”

Clerk 1: “We cannot do that, ma’am.”

Me (voice level 2.5): “Why not?”

Clerk 1: “It’s our policy.”

Me (voice level 3): “The coupon said ‘any two cartridges,’ and I just want to exchange this particular one.”

Clerk 2: “We need to see the other one. You need to bring that one back as well.”

Me (voice level 3.5): “Okay… the receipt shows that I purchased the other one with this one, so if it’s the bar code you need, you can take another one exactly like it off the shelf and use it for the transaction, then put it back.”

Clerk 1: “No, we can’t do that. That would throw off our stock.”

Me (voice level 4): “WHAT?!? That doesn’t even make sense.”

Clerk 2: “Sorry ma’am. That’s our policy.”

Me (voice level 4.5): “No it’s not. It doesn’t make any sense. Let me explain this to you. The coupon applied to any two. I got A and B. B doesn’t work. I return B and get the C. I would end up with A and C. I just pay the difference or get a refund for the difference between B and C. You don’t need to see A to do this transaction.”

Clerk 2: “It’s our policy. If you don’t have the P1 package, then take the cartridge out of your printer and bring it.”

Me (voice level 5): “WHY? I DON’T WANT TO RETURN THAT ONE! I JUST WANT TO RETURN THIS ONE! Do you have a brain? Can’t you see the logic? Can’t you see that you’re not making sense?”

Clerk 1: “There are rules that don’t make sense to us either, but we have to follow them because they are the rules. There’s nothing we can do.”

Me (with my veins ready to pop): “NO! That will not do. You have to produce better explanation than that! I’m not leaving here without getting this resolved. USE YOUR HEAD, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!”

Clerk 1 (with defiance): “There’s nothing we can do!”

Me (now through clenched teeth): “This is crazy… Let me talk to a manager.”

By this time, my frustration level was almost beyond human capacity, and I was practically having an out-of-body experience.

The manager appeared, and he was much more reasonable (thank God! otherwise I might have internally combusted.) He found a way to complete the transaction without much effort, to the clerks’ chagrin.

I’m not proud of the way I behaved. I knew I was right, but I could have handled it a little more diplomatically. I feel like I have a Mr. Hyde side of me that emerges at the push of the right buttons. It makes me cringe. I’ll have to keep a low profile for a while and wear a disguise when I go back to the store…

My point for this post, besides admitting my shortcomings, is that the customer service personnel should be trained in being flexible and being able to look at issues on a case-by-case basis rather than parroting the words “those are the rules.” If you don’t have a good reason for those rules, I will call you out every time.

Psychology of Eve - Another Perspective

When I started this blog last year, I had every intention of focusing only on my experience with the MBTI and keeping it light and fun. I had another blog which I had decided to place on hiatus where I used to write about spiritual issues. Before I knew it, I lost my focus, and I have no idea where this blog is going. Go figure! It's not unlike the way I do everything else in life. Staying on track is extremely difficult for an ENTP.

So here I continue with my tangent that I started yesterday about religion:

Hugo posted a new blog post about how people interpret the Bible differently and gave this link at the end of his post. It is an interesting perspective of a Bible passage written by RLP (Real Live Preacher). I've been browsing through RLP's blog and found his video recommendations on how to read the Bible - also very interesting...

RLP's writing reminded me of a story of Eve I had written some time ago on the old blog.

My interpretation of what happened in the garden (Gen 2:15 ~ 3:13):

Eve was a gift to Adam. The moment he saw her, he immediately loved her. She came out of him. She was a part of him. He knew he would never be whole again without her.

Eve suddenly found herself standing before Adam as the object of his affection and love. He was everything to her. She liked the feeling of being needed, wanted, desired. The more Adam gave to her, the more she wanted of him. She soon realized that Adam was willing to do anything within his power to satisfy her. She could ask him for anything, and he provided. He ruled over the land and all the other living things. His knowledge and wisdom came directly from God, and there was nothing that Adam was not able to produce for her.

This puzzled and intrigued Eve very much. Adam seemed to have a special relationship with God that she did not have. She was not a part of it. She wanted Adam all to herself. She did not want to share him with God. She was also envious of Adam's abilities that she did not have. Why did she always have to look to him for her needs? She wanted to be able to do things for herself. She wanted to do what he could do.

While she was sitting and sulking one day, a serpent slithered towards her. It looked directly into her eyes, and it was as if its thoughts were speaking to her thoughts. These thoughts were powerfully hypnotizing and seemed to take control of her mind. The serpent understood all that she had been feeling. He told her she had every right to be upset over the relationship between God and Adam. Adam should rightfully be all hers. She should be number one to him, not God.

He was the one who mentioned the tree. He asked her about the tree. He asked if God himself said that they shouldn't eat from any tree in the garden. She thought about it, but could not remember exactly what Adam had told her. She remembered that it was the tree in the middle of the garden, but no other details. As a matter of fact, Adam told her that God gave him the instructions before she was even created. God had not spoken directly to her. She suddenly wondered why. Was she not good enough? She couldn't have her new friend thinking that she was not very intelligent.

She just blurted out, "Ummm... You must not eat from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and... um... oh yeah, you must not touch it either, or you will die."

Her friend chuckled and said, "You will not surely die. Do you realize how silly that sounds? How can you die from eating a piece of fruit? That doesn't even sound logical, does it?"

He kindly looked at her, and he seemed so smart and wise. He made her feel validated.

She asked him, "Then why would God not want us to eat the fruit?"

He smiled and gave her the most amazing information by saying, "The tree is called the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. God knows that if you eat of it, you will become like Him and be able to know all that he knows. You will become self-sufficient. He knows you will then no longer need Him. That's what he does not want."

He added, "It's strictly up to you, but I don't see anything wrong with becoming like God, do you?" He then slithered away.

Eve was very tempted. He said she could be just like God. That would mean that She could finally have Adam all to herself. In addition, she can begin to provide for herself without depending on him. She will have to convince Adam to eat the fruit also. If the serpent happens to be wrong, and if something bad were to happen from eating the fruit, she definitely did not want to be alone. She knew there were risks involved, but she thought it was definitely worth a try.

When she proposed the idea to Adam, he was clearly upset. She'd never seen him so confused. However, she knew she could somehow convince him of the idea. She was going to get her way if it was the last thing she did. She pleaded with him to listen to her. She wanted him to see how much she loved him and that they could be happy together without God always having to be in the middle of it.

She brought him to the tree and showed him how harmless and delicious the fruit looked. She touched the tree. Nothing happened. She reached up and picked a fruit. Nothing happened. She looked into Adams eyes and took a bite of the fruit. It tasted amazing. She closed her eyes and waited. Nothing happened.

The bewildered look in Adam's eyes began to soften. He was now puzzled. She smiled and picked another fruit. She handed it to Adam. Adam stood in front of her with the fruit in his hand, and he looked so handsome, so brave. She told him how much she admired and respected him.

He slowly brought the fruit to his lips and took a bite. He did not die. But in that moment, EVERYTHING changed. They saw things that they did not see before. They felt things that they did not feel before. They looked down and suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable about their nakedness. They were filled with fear. They ran for cover to hide from each other. They found fig leaves and sewed them together to cover their bodies.

Shortly thereafter, they heard God walking through the garden. They were terrified that He would find them in their current state, so they hid behind the trees. God called to Adam, and Adam had to answer him. He tried to explain to God that the reason he was hiding was because he was ashamed of his own nakedness. He wanted God to know that he still loved Him. God asked him if he ate the forbidden fruit. Adam pointed to Eve and tried to claim his innocence. After all, God gave her to him. He could not take the blame.

God then turned to Eve and spoke to her. This shocked Eve, in that this was the first time that God spoke to her directly. It somehow gave her a sense of importance for one fleeting moment. Then she was filled with fear again. What will become of her? She had to think of something to save both Adam and herself from this interrogation. She then decided to reveal her source. In her mind, that was the only way. She had to hang onto their survival even at the cost of betraying a friend. She divulged the information that the serpent had given her. She told God that she did not want to listen to him, but that he deceived her and convinced her into believing him.

She had no idea of the truth that she spoke...

As we approach Easter...

Here they come again, the Bible toting evangelists! Why do they always travel in packs?

I take a deep breath and force a smile.

“No, thank you! I belong to the Catholic church,”

I say politely and walk away. I had not been to mass in months, but that seems to always do the trick. In the past, I had tried simply saying, “No, thank you,” but that tends to give them ammunition to push harder. They start spewing nonsense about Jeeee-sus that leaves such a fowl taste in my mouth about religion in general.

That was my mindset only five years ago. That’s how I saw it, and I knew I did not want any part of what they were offering.

As a child, I was always fascinated with the concept of God of the universe. I used to sit and look at the sky, the clouds, the trees and the butterflies… I used to wonder if there was something that is bigger than all of us, bigger than this world. When I felt like a stranger in a land full of eyes judging me, I’d smell the trees, the rain, the fresh dirt… I’d feel the warmth of the sun and the soft wind caressing my face and be comforted. Perhaps I always knew that unconditional love is the essence of God.

When Christ presented himself to me, I somehow recognized him. He liberated me from the darkness that I never realized that I had been in. When I stepped into the light, it was as if I had always known him. But who is “him?” They told me his name was Jesus. But if they had not, would I still have been drawn to him? If I knew of nothing that he had done or who he was, would I still have known his truth, his love, that breathed a new life into me? I believe I would have.

A new perspective in a new mirror… it is the reflection I see in the eyes belonging to Unconditional Love. He said, “Look at yourself through my eyes; not the world's.” I find myself walking a tightrope. When I look straight ahead at the truth of love he speaks, I am fearless and free. I take steps in confidence. When I look away, I wobble and lose my balance; but with each wobble, it takes less time to find his gaze again.

But the best part about being a Christian is that although I continue to trip and stumble, I will never fall to my death. I can be free of the world’s eye of scrutiny and know that fear does not have any power over me. And above all, religion does not have any power over me.

Confessions of a Confused Extravert

I thought I was very clear on my E/I preference, but I'm finding myself very confused today about the Extraversion/Introversion dichotomy of the MBTI.

This morning, as I sat in the waiting room while getting an oil change, I had a surprising discovery about myself.

When I walked into the room, there were about four other people in the room silently watching a morning show on TV. I found a seat as far away from the others as I could and proceeded to read a book I had brought. With some effort, I was able to block out the sounds from the TV so I could concentrate on my reading.

Then after about 10 minutes, a middle-aged woman in the room decided to make a comment about something that was said on TV, and two of the men responded by saying, "yes, I agree," and "me too," respectively. That opened the flood gates. For the next hour or so, the rest of the waiting room learned all about this woman's life and her views. I don't remember any details, as I was silently screaming "shut the hell up" in my head the whole time, never looking up from my book.

There were people walking in and out, the door opening and closing, the TV blaring, and this woman talking loudly in her annoying voice about her opinions on things...endlessly... It probably seemed more chaotic to me than it really was in reality. I usually pride myself in my level of patience and understanding. This morning was different. I almost had an anxiety attack and was on the verge of taking action I may have lived to regret when the service guy walked in and called my name. God made the word "Hallelujah" for occasions like these...

It is possible that this could just be an isolated incident. However, I thought about it at length and realized that most of the time, I would rather not talk to strangers. When it happens, I do end up enjoying talking to them. But generally, I prefer keeping to myself. I love conversation, but only in intimate settings. Even with close friends, I feel drained if I am around more than two or three at a time. Now that I am thinking about it, I realize this has always been the case. Why did it not become clear to me until today?? Had I been in denial because of my unrealistic expectation of myself to always be the bubbly, outgoing, social butterfly?

There are five E/I facets in the MBTI Step II (Form Q). I am way over to the Extraverted side in only two of the five: Expressive/Contained and Enthusiastic/Quiet. I am midzone in Initiating/Receiving and Gregarious/Intimate and slightly on the Introverted side in Active/Reflective.

I'm beginning to think I'm increasingly inching my way to the "I" side. Hmm...

Howard Gardner: "Five Minds for the Future"

I have recently had the pleasure to read "Five Minds for the Future" by Howard Gardner, a professor of Cognition and Education at Harvard Graduate School of Education. His book, "Multiple Intelligences" was featured on one of my previous posts.

In the "Five Minds," Howard Gardner addresses the need to cultivate the minds of tomorrow in this age of technology and globalization. He lists the five minds as follows:

1. The Disciplined Mind
2. The Synthesizing Mind
3. The Creating Mind
4. The Respectful mind
   
5. The Ethical Mind

He takes each of the five minds and discusses them at length, including the challenges that we face as we look at the future of education.

And why do we need to take a proactive stance? Gardner begins by pointing to the following facts:

• Individuals without one or more disciplines will not be able to succeed at any demanding workplace and will be restricted to menial tasks.
• Individuals without synthesizing capabilities will be overwhelmed by information and unable to make judicious decisions about personal or professional matters.
• Individuals without creating capacities will be replaced by computers and will drive away those who do have the creative spark.
• Individuals without respect will not be worthy of respect by others and will poison the workplace and the commons.
• Individuals without ethics will yield a world devoid of decent workers and responsible citizens: none of us will want to live on that desolate planet.

Reading this book, I could not help but recall a recent TED video about the rapid progress of science and technology that will cause what the speaker, Juan Enriquez, calls the big "reboot":



Now... my take on all this?

I think if (that's a big if) we, as a global community, can achieve the delicate balance across the elements listed in the book, perhaps humanity still has a chance at a bright future. There's a lot of think about...