Humanity - Our need for opposing views

Chinese characters are a large part of the Korean culture. When I was growing up in Korea, students began learning the Chinese characters in middle school, as it is an extremely complex form of writing. My family moved to the United States just before I entered middle school, and I never had the opportunity to learn more than the very basic. Now as an adult and perhpas because my dominant function is "N" (iNtuition), I am fascinated by the Chinese language, as well as other ancient languages, such as Latin, Greek, Hebrew... They are so very rich in history and meaning beyond what is apparent and obvious.


This is the Chinese character for man...as in human. It looks like two sticks leaning up against each other. It evolved from the original symbol which used to resemble a stick figure of a man. The portion that made up the lower body is the character you see today. The Chinese characters are used by many Asian cultures in their written language in addition to their own. When a word needs clarification in meaning, they refer to the Chinese characters.

The Japanese culture highly values teamwork and cooperation more so than any other Asian culture that I know of. The Japanese children are taught this character with the explanation that no man can stand on his own without the support of other human beings. People need to lean on and support each other, just as the two sticks support each other in this character for the word human.

As I was reading a favorite controversial blog this morning (the subject is irrelevant here), something dawned on me. I began to ponder about our need for opposition. Perhaps what makes us strong and what plays a crucial role in supporting us does not always come from the same side. The two sticks stand and lean against each other from opposite sides. They cannot support each other from the same side. Both would fall.

What provides us with balance, harmony, and growth may come from places completely unexpected. It may be the thing that we fight to get rid of, the thing that we kick and scream against, the thing that is the thorn in our side that actually helps us to thrive.

Something to think about...

MBTI and the Sensing/Intuition Preference Pair

Some additional information on the Sensing/Intuition (S/N) preference pair, as I explained to a friend on-line:

Sensing preference focuses on individual facts and what they are. It is all about the details and the practical realities. It prefers information and tasks that are organized and presented in an orderly, sequential format. The Sensing preference relies on the five senses.

Intuitive preference, on the other hand, focuses on what the facts mean rather than whey they are. It pays more attention to connections and implications between the facts than to facts and details alone. It prefers information that is introduced with a "big picture" overview.

If we were talking photography, Sensing would see a macro shot first then may slowly zoom out to take in the bigger picture; and Intuition would see the wide-angle shot first and may slowly zoom in to see the close-up.

Another fascinating thought is that our preferences can be influenced by various factors. We have innate preferences (nature), but the way we experience, develop, use and express those preferences are influenced by our culture, family, education, etc. (nurture). It takes both to make up the complete picture of who we are, and trying to find our true type can be very confusing. The purpose of the MBTI is to find out what that "nature" part of our personality is. I think it can have a significant effect on how we deal with the world and also how we look at ourselves.

Perspectives (Part 2): New and Improved Golden Rule:

The Golden Rule, as everyone knows, reads as follows:

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

There's another (humorous) version of the Golden Rule that I've heard, which seems to ring true:

"Whoever has the gold makes the rules."

I believe the Golden Rule should be rewritten as:

"Don't ASSUME what you want done unto you is what others would want done unto them."

I have recently come to the realization that we, as humans, generally do not give each other the same consideration we give to a houseplant. We study plants and know that each variety responds differently to the amount of light, water, and other nutrients we give it to help it thrive. As a matter of fact, we make more of an effort to study every other living thing on earth than we do to understand each other. We assume that everyone else does or should think like us.

When a houseplant does not respond to the care that we give it, do we demand that it change its ways? No. We simply try to adjust the light, water, etc., do we not?

Communication break-down happens when we can only see things from one perspective--our own--and make unreasonable demands on the people we interact with (or make unfair judgments). Disappointment and conflict are inevitable when we have unrealistic expectations according to the Golden Rule mindset.


Note: I suspect many people misunderstand the Biblical message from which the Golden Rule comes from (Luke 6:31).

Perspectives (Part 1): How do you see the world?

Have you ever asked yourself the following questions?

Who am I?
Do I know myself as well as I think I do?
Who are they? Why do they think so differenty?
What motivates me?
Why can't I think/be more like them?
Why can't they think/be more like me?

A friend recently made the following comment:

When someone says something that we agree with, we think it's brilliant. When someone says something that we disagree with, we think it's the dumbest thing we've ever heard.

When you think about it, more often than not, that is our mindset when interacting with each other.

Conflict arises when two or more opposing views cannot agree on which view is the smart/right one and which view is the stupid/wrong one. When we're only focused on what's wright and wrong... eventually, someone has to be wrong. And who wants to be wrong? Do you? I don't!

When you think of the word ocean, does any of the following come to mind?





Are any of them wrong? No, of course not. They are just different perspectives from which we see the ocean.

Can we possibly learn from another perspective, rather than judge it to be right or wrong?

MBTI outer world orientation: J/P preference

Okay. With the election out of the way, perhaps we can get back to talking about things other than politics... :-)

This is an excerpt (I know... I get a little carried away with my emails) from an email I wrote today to a friend trying to explain the preferences:

The J/P preference deals with the outer world orientation. By the way, Jung's theory only had the 6 different preferences. The way I understand it, Myers and Briggs added this last pair to make the theory a little more digestible... more applicable and accessible through studying behavioral patterns.

It determines whether you prefer to deal with the outer world in a way that is decisive and orderly (Judging) or in a way that is flexible and spontaneous (Perceiving). So... depending on which function (perception or judgement) you tend to extravert, your preference would be either Judging or Perceiving. This is the one that people seem have the hardest time grasping.

If you have a Judging preference, that means you tend to extravert your decision making function. So that would express itself as being more decisive, orderly, structured, organized, methodical, and focused on results. If you have a Perceiving preference, then you tend to extravert your perceiving function. That would show up as being spontaneous, exploratory, adaptive, flexible, and focused more on the process rather than the result.

To give you an example, I have a very clear P preference. I feel more comfortable leaving everything open and flexible. I don't like the thought of anything being close-ended. I like possibilities and that is what motivates me. I like starting projects rather than finishing. My husband Pat, on the other hand, has a clear J preference. He loves routine, organization, and accomplishing tasks. What he has accomplished gives him a sense of security and comfort. Neither one is right or wrong, good or bad. But we constantly have conflicts because we are so different in the way we go through our day. But we're learning to appreciate and understand the other side of the spectrum that we don't prefer and to give each other more space. Believe it or not, just being aware of those things helps me to operate out of my comfort zone when needed.