Everything Changes, Everything Endsby Chuck HilligNobody can foresee the future with absolute certainty, and much of life seems extremely random and unpredictable. The real inconvenient truth is that anything can happen to anybody.
Although we all hope we’ll make it through another day, deep down we know that’s not going to be the case for everyone. No one is guaranteed that they’ll see the next sunset. Because life can change in an instant, we don’t really live day-to-day. We live breath-to-breath. We’re only given so many heartbeats, and that total number is decidedly finite. Everyone is in countdown mode; we’re all “pre-death.”
It’s easy, though, to avoid including ourselves among those chosen today for the hereafter. “Hey,” we object, “I’m not going to check out. I’m young and healthy. I don’t smoke, do drugs or drive drunk. Dying is for older people.” What we really mean, though, is that dying is for other people.
However, by excluding our names from being part of the daily lottery, we slip sideways into an unconscious place of plausible deniability. But no one ever gets out alive, and every time we argue with reality, we’re going to lose.
And here’s part of that harsh reality: we could be doing every-thing “right,”…and still get hurt. Consider 9-11. Consider the tsunami. Consider Virginia Tech.
Beneath the thin veneer of safety and security, we’re each walking alone through our own private labyrinth, and nobody knows how close they are to arriving at their center. We know there are dangerous minotaurs in there, too, and we just hope that we won’t meet any of them today. But, sooner or later, our path will cross one of them because, inevitably, it always does. Life moves on for the living, but, for everyone else…game over.
As much as we would like to have more control over what happens to us, we know that absolute certitude and risk-free living is impossible to achieve. But, if we want to play in this manifested wonderland, those are life’s terms. And, unless we’re willing to fully live the risk that life is, we’re not going to have much of a life at all.
So, in the light of our body’s vulnerability and the random ca-price of fate, how do we live our life with purpose and meaning? Do we withdraw into the familiar and relative comfort of our own melodramas, or are we trying to find a path with a heart?
Here’s the real question: Do we want a safe life, or do we want an authentic life?
Being authentically human requires that you live in, and from, a place of absolute integrity. It requires that you find the courage to speak your truth, to others and to yourself, moment to moment. Whatever feelings you don’t own, own you. Emotional congru-ency is achieved when your “insides” match your “outsides.”
Sending double messages to others invites misinterpretation and creates both confusion and fear. The choice is yours: if you’re not willing to be who you already are, then who are you going to be? Take your pick. Tell your truth or tell your lie.
Living authentically in the “now” requires that you have the courage to face your own mortality, moment to moment. To help you stay focused on being fully present, practice living each day as if it’s your last. Pretend, for example, that no matter what you do, you won’t be alive to see the next sunrise. There’s just no way out. In less than 24 hours, you’ll be dead.
Coming from that perspective, wouldn’t it be much easier to experience your life, no matter how simple your actions might be, as being truly extraordinary? Wouldn’t the approaching finality of it all serve to greatly intensify the experience of even the most mundane occurrences in your day: enjoying a cup of coffee, lis-tening to a song on the radio or watching a beautiful sunset?
How much more conscious and aware of your actions would you be if you knew that this, right now, would be the very last time that you’d be doing it? How much more fully present in the con-versation would you be if you knew for certain that this was the very last time that you’ll ever talk to your parent or to your child?
This isn’t some kind of idle speculation. Eventually, all of this will be the case for every last one of us. Sooner or later, we’re all going to be doing everything for the very final time. Mercifully, we just don’t know which occasion will be the last.
But, as co-creators of our own lives, our experiences in the world are shaped by what we say about it. The universe is com-pelled to provide the evidence that helps us to continue to support our beliefs. Because it automatically aligns itself in accordance with our definitions, life mostly delivers what we expect it to deliver.
Although death is unavoidable, your choice to fully participate in what life offers is completely optional. For example, if you want to stay up in the grandstands and do very little with your life, that’s perfectly OK. Some people die years before they’re actually buried and, in truth, the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
But most of it is about perception. When you choose to con-sciously change how you’re looking at things, then the things that you’re looking at will begin to change. The real problem is that everyone wants to change the world; they just don’t want to change themselves.
But life was going on long before you showed up in it. After all, “it is what it is.” You can live more deliberately by willingly embracing life’s vagaries and by staying more focused on the present moment. Then, through your gratitude for every breath you take, you become increasingly conscious of the joy of being truly alive and fully human.
