Quentin Tarantino, I know what you mean...

In this week's "The Week" magazine, Quentin Tarantino is quoted as saying:

"When I'm doing a movie, I'm not doing anything else. It's all about the movie. Nothing can get in my way. The whole world can go to hell and burst into flames. I don't care. If you're climbing Mount Everest, you're not doing anything else. All your concerns, all the mundane things, family, any of that, it just--pfft--disappears."

I know EXACTLY what he means by that, because I have that same trait. And it doesn't seem to be a choice. The project, whatever I'm working on, becomes my whole world and nothing else exists for the duration. I end up feeling like I'm short-changing my family, but I can't seem to help myself. It's good to know that there are others.

Addressing the Wrong Issue - Is it really about race?

The above statement by President Obama opened up the floodgates of criticism, as well as support, about whether he should have even gotten involved. Some say that racial profiling in America is an issue that needs to be brought up and discussed. But was this incident really about race?


Here's a slightly different view:

"My suspicion is that this was not about race, this was about power," said Richard Weinblatt, director of the Institute for Public Safety at Central Ohio Technical College. "In the old days, we used to call this 'contempt of cop.' This person was charged with 'contempt of cop' because they kept pushing and pushing. But it has opened up a very powerful national dialogue on race, and it's something that police need to address." ~ from a Washington Post article

If the issue is about power, then why are we not talking about power instead of race? I totally agree with the statement that power and class division are the bigger issues here.

Could the situation possibly be seen from the following perspective?:

a) a highly educated and respected professor refusing to succumb to what could be interpreted as undue authority imposed on him by less educated police officer

in direct conflict with

b) a highly respected and experienced law enforcement officer given the power to make arrests at his discretion feeling disrespected by what could be interpreted as academic and, possibly, upper-class arrogance

Perhaps race did play a role, but I don't think it was the main issue at all. I just think that the "race card" is grossly overplayed in this country. It's so much easier to blame it on racism than to look at a more complex problem that would put all of us under one umbrella.

Working through the heaviness

I woke up with something heavy in the pit of my stomach. It wanted some attention, so I ventured.

I guess it must come from suddenly feeling disconnected from the world as I knew it. I wondered when was the last time I got together with my girlfriends just to laugh? When was the last time I called my sister or my mom just to talk? When was the last time I saw my church family? When was the last time I went shopping for something other than food? When was the last time I cooked a meal from scratch? When was the last time I went to the theater? When was the last time I saw the ocean?

Two semesters ago, I have jumped in head first into this college endeavor of mine, and I have not looked back. With a maximum course load, together with my annoying need to overachieve in everything, I go to bed thinking about my assignments and wake up thinking about my assignments. Do I even have the capability of half-assing anything? I don't even know what that means.

I often jolt to a waking state in a panic, thinking that I have overslept and missed a class... only to find that I still have plenty of time.

I am struggling to keep my priorities in order, that being that I am a mother first, wife second, and a student third. The third seems to repeatedly come up as first; and although my family understands and fully supports me, I'm left wondering if I'm being unfair to them. But, miraculously, we are still managing through it as one unit.

That leads me to the rest of the people and things that are being neglected. I do have an obsessive-compulsive streak in the way I jump into things, and I'm known to get tunnel vision when I am focused on a project/mission. But this has to be, by far, the most I have become detached from life outside of my immediate world.

I know that keeping a balance is probably the key to coming out at the other end of this journey emotionally intact, but that's easier said than done.

I still get butterflies as I arrive on campus each morning, or as I sit in a classroom waiting for the professor to arrive. I still can't believe I am actually finally going after what I've always wanted. How can I not give it my 200 percent? So, I find myself on the ride of my life while gripping tightly onto the love and support of my husband and my kids. There's no more room for anything else.

And once in a while, I feel the disconnect from all those other people and things I love... and wonder if I'm doing the right thing. There will be no more do-overs. This is it. What if ten years from now, I look back and realize I had traveled on the wrong train?

I let it hang in all of its heaviness for a moment...take a deep breath...then ask myself, "Am I still having fun?" And the answer is, "Oh, yes!" I went into this promising myself to keep having fun, and I must maintain that perspective if I want any chance at crossing the finish line. At the same time, I know that if the answer should ever change, I have the choice to get off the ride. I have to allow myself that loophole in order to continue breathing.

Also, I have this... the online outlet for expressing and releasing my thoughts so they don't just fester inside my mind. It is a much appreciated friend. :-)

Having worked through the heaviness this morning... for the time being, the weight lifts and the confusion subsides. Onward, student!

[Image credit: Don Hong-Oai]

Open letter to the sensible state trooper

Thank you, Mr. State Trooper, for pointing out that my recently purchased used vehicle of one week was in violation of the Virginia window tint law.

Thank you for being so thoughtful to ask me if I had been pulled over before, to which I replied, "No, I just purchased the vehicle one week ago from someone from another state, and I've just registered it, put on the plates, and had it inspected earlier today."

Thank you for advising me that the rear windows should let in at least 35% of the light and the front window should let in at least 50%, which I agree every driver in the state of Virginia should be aware of, along with many other such laws that most people don't take the time to know inside and out because they just assume that’s the purpose of state inspections.

Thank you for taking such care in filling out all of the blanks on the lovely form you handed to me, called "Virginia Uniform Summons" and letting me know that signing the form in no way means admitting guilt.

Thank you for choosing a court date when I will be in school and cannot afford to miss another class because I just got done working my ass off trying to catch up for the two classes I missed last week because of my kids.

Thank you for keeping your composure when I suddenly lost control and protested that you were being absolutely unfair in giving me a ticket, when a simple warning would have had me in the tinting shop within two days. How was I to know this information about the tint? Where the hell do I find the details of the law? Thank you for consoling me by letting me know that "this is nothing to get so upset over," when my frustration overwhelmed me and I could not talk without crying.

I did later attempt to search for the information, Mr. State Trooper, because, after all, you insisted that I was personally responsible for knowing every state law pertaining to my vehicle. After much trouble, I did find some ambiguous jargon at the bottom of this page on your website.

Then I finally found the information to which you referred on a page that talks about, of all things, medical waivers on the DMV site.

This has been such an educational experience for me, and I am forever grateful to you for teaching me this valuable lesson which I would have never learned otherwise. I would love to appear in court just to have the chance to see you again in all of your brilliance and common sense; however, I have no choice but to mail in my signed admission of guilt along with the $91 in fines.

Please be assured that you have yet again done your duty, and the streets of Virginia are much, MUCH safer place because of it.

With loving respect,

L.M.

After-thought: Even if I were aware of the specifics of the tint law, shouldn't I be allowed more than a mere week from purchasing the vehicle to correct the problem? I just don't get it...