Freedom and Fear of Loneliness

My quest in life is freedom. Being free to think, free to choose, free to learn, free to speak, free to laugh, free to cry, free to love, and free to be this person behind the eyes through which I see the world. Being truly authentic, original and unique is my goal in everything that I do. I make great efforts to achieve this goal (at the cost of often humiliating myself). I have a going joke that I have a ministry called "Fall-down Ministry" where people come to watch me make a fool of myself. I think I'm beginning to get the hang of the falling down (and getting back up). :-)

On the flip side, my greatest fear is loneliness. The likelihood that there will never be another one like me... that ultimately, I am utterly alone in this world... is the fear and dread that plague me.

There's something strangely appealing about conformity. It is the magnetic force that constantly tugs at me, and I am certain it has power over most of us in varying degrees. I wish I could just give in to it and be satisfied. That is the chronic thorn in my side. It would be so much easier just to fall in line with the majority and not be so rebellious. I wish I could just flip the off switch and ride the current.

Perhaps the cost of freedom is separation; and in order to be truly free, we have to be willing to face the loneliness.

(Just in case you were wondering... the image is a photo of "Rebellious Slave" by Michelangelo.)