Can I choose NOT to be merry?

November and December are my least favorite months of the year. I start getting into my grumpy mood about the second week in November and don't come out of it until after January.

Perhaps it has something to do with the cold weather. But it's more likely that I become too overwhelmed with the pressures and obligations surrounding the holidays. There are just too many parties, gatherings, collections for the needy, family obligations, hours spent in traffic, and shopping for useless gifts.

I know I get this way every year... and it's getting worse.

You must give, you must love, you must socialize, you must be cheerful, and you MUST ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT... or else! Or else? Yes... or else you are seen as a Scrooge and frowned upon. Or else you are a social misfit. Or else you will live a miserable life then shrivel up and die alone. Oh, really?

When? When did this unwritten social law go into effect?

And that's why I rebel against it. Not because I don't want to give, love, or socialize... but because I don't like anyone else telling me how, when, and whom to love. I don't feel like I have a choice in the matter during the holidays. What happened to our freedom to choose?

Maybe I'll start decorating a cherry tree in April and giving random gifts in August just to throw people off. Hmm...

It's a bad attitude, I know. Shame on me for not enjoying such a joyous time of the year. Is it just me? ;-)

Popularity at what cost?

There is so much talk about the shocking performances at the AMA last night, such as that of Adam Lambert.

It is no shocking revelation that artists will always push the limits and force us out of our comfort zone. That's the beauty and the gift of art. But when does it cross the line? Where is that fine line when art becomes lost in the heap of I-dare-you-to-judge-me stunts? Don't get me wrong... I am not judging the content of the performance. I'm just wondering about the motivation behind it.

This makes me wonder if we, as social animals, all end up selling ourselves short for the cheap thrill of receiving momentary attention and/or admiration? Do we begin to lose our true selves in order to continue pleasing the audience?

If we succumb to the pressure of keeping our fans and constantly having to one-up ourselves, where is the freedom in that?

If freedom of expression is used as a crutch merely to shock people, where is the art in that?

Is it possible to rise above this dreaded addiction to attention? As I sit back and criticize others, I have to admit I often feel it too (the need to dare them, to please them, to prove a point to them... whatever it is, it can easily become a trap and a prison).

Am I showing my age with this view? Am I just not keeping up with what's current? Am I the one who's just not getting it?

Update: I had to revise some of my unfair and harsh statements I had previously written. I apologize if you saw them before the revision. :)

Is Religion Selfish?: My thoughts after watching "To Verdener" ["Worlds Apart"]

self⋅ish

  –adjective

1.	devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

2.	characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives. (Dictionary.com)

I’ve come down with a cold, which gave me an excuse to mope around in front of the TV and get a chance to flip through the recorded movies on our DVR (we record random foreign movies that look interesting), and I stumbled upon a thought-provoking movie.

The movie is based on a true story about a 17-year-old girl struggling to deal with the clashing viewpoints between her faith and the realities of the world around her. She has a loving family and is deeply devoted to her church until she meets and falls in love with a boy who does not share her beliefs, at which time she begins to question the ideas which she had previously blindly accepted. She is then rejected by the church and also by her family, who essentially has no choice if they are to remain in their faith. She tries fervently to maintain her relationship with them, but to no avail.

In the final scene, she is confronted by her father after she has made an unwelcome appearance at the funeral of an old friend. I cannot remember the exact wording in the dialogue, but it went something like this:

Father: It was selfish of you to have come. Don’t you know it’s painful for us to see you?

Sara: Dad? Do you love me?

Father: What kind of question is that? Of course I love you very much.

Sara: Do you love God more than me?

Father: Yes… I do.

Sara: Why?

Father: Because he’s my father in heaven. Because he created me. Because he promises me an everlasting life…

Sara: Dad, you are the one who is selfish.

She then walks away.

It’s a powerful statement and one that is worth pondering.

(Side note: The religion in question is Jehovah’s Witness… but I intentionally did not mention it above, because it may then be shrugged off as a story about cults. But it’s more than that. I think the message can be applied to any dogmatic belief system, religion or otherwise, wherein we can lose sight of what’s right in front of us in our attempts to chase the rainbow.)

(Check out the Danish movie, Worlds Apart, if you get a chance.)

Normally Abnormal

This is turning out to be a fun place for me to just pop in for a few minutes to get my mind off of other things... like writing a paper.

I've been attempting to write a psych term paper all day, which I should have started a month ago and finished by now. During the course of this day of report-writing frenzy, I've written three posts (this makes it four) on this blog, wrote two long comments on other blogs, and created urgent needs to make two emergency shopping trips, one of which was to go buy a 6-pound medicine ball. Why? Because I felt the sudden urge to play catch with it, that's why! Sheesh! The way you're shaking your head, one would think it's not something EVERYONE does in the middle of doing homework. What? No? hmm...

Anyway, I think I have some ADD symptoms. But doesn't everybody to a degree?

I have finally managed to force myself to finish the first draft, and we'll see if I can somehow come up with a final draft by tomorrow.

Honestly, sometimes I have to roll my eyes at myself...

Image: http://thegazz.com/gblogs/karinfuller/2008/01/13/structured-procrastination/

"Please Don't Label Me" bus campaign

This is a bus campaign recently launched by the British Humanist Association. Many Christians are outraged by such ads. I have had mixed feelings about previous bus ads and billboards being promoted by various secular and humanist groups.

I have to say, though, this one is clearly not an anti-Christian or pro-atheist message.

I like it. Okay? So go ahead... Beat me over the head with a Bible.

Wrong on every level

The following story was recently posted on the Christian Science Monitor site.

May I just say that it's just plain wrong and puts another bitter taste in my mouth for religion in general? Pe---tui!! (Read for yourselves.)

Biblical anti-Obama slogan: Use of Psalm 109:8 funny or sinister? | csmonitor.com

Outcast by Choice

I often find myself in a group or a place where I feel like an outcast. I somehow end up being the odd person out whenever I'm sitting in the classroom, among friends, in church, neighborhood functions, other social gatherings, etc.... Throughout my life, I had assumed this is because either I was flawed or the group was flawed. Or simply blame it on my minority status, which is the easiest way to get out of thinking too hard... and a cop-out.

What I have recently discovered was that I often seem to choose to be the outcast. A part of me does not want to belong to a larger group. I rather enjoy being an enigma most of the time. I don't like being influenced by other's views and I like to see things for myself and make up my own mind about everything. That's why I end up doing things that people warn me against and also refuse to do the things they say I must do. ...unless I have coincidentally decided on my own that I will or will not do those things. If there is one view, I come up with an opposing view. If there are two opposing views, I come up with a third view. If a third view is already presented, then I try to think of a whole new perspective... and so on. It can be very annoying, I know. ;-) However, I'm not afraid to admit I'm wrong when it's pointed out to me or change my mind in the middle of an argument.

But back to the point of being an outcast... When I start to feel like I'm being too immersed in a group, I start to feel uncomfortable. I think it's the discomfort of blending with others that I dislike more so than the awkwardness of being the oddball. I end up seeking out other groups, views, and ideas. Hmm... perhaps this is a commitment issue? I don't think so, but worth exploring at another time (mental note).

Yes, I do take freethinking to the extreme sometimes and end up with my face in the dirt. But hey, I'd rather have a dirty face than a face made on the assembly line.

Is it bad? Is it just me? ;-)

I have no time for incompetence

If you've landed here via psychology.alltop.com, I apologize. This blog should not be listed there. I just want it said that I've asked for it to be removed from the list (but why is it still there?). I have no qualifications to talk about psychology other than the fact that I am a student of psychology and love to observe and contemplate human behavior in myself and others. Honestly, I was put there by mistake. I'm not an expert on the subject nor do I pretend to be, which brings me to my next point...

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to be judgmental in what I'm about to say. I make a huge effort not to judge people (this is very important to me), but I cannot help but judge their performance. I'm just trying to be honest.

Those who know me understand that it's one of my pet peeves -- people pretending to be something they are not. Incompetent people should not pretend to be competent. Unqualified people should not pretend to be qualified. There should be a direct correlation between effort and reward. If recognition is given, it should be deserved. And if it is deserved, it should be given.

Service providers who charge high-quality prices with mediocre or inferior service? That annoys me to no end. Customers who are too stupid to notice or too "nice" to speak up, allowing them to continue in the same way? That annoys me even more. Pacifists who frown upon others for their honest critique? That downright infuriates me.

That's why I've always felt uncomfortable when people describe me as "nice." That's another thing that close friends know about me. I'm not that nice. Sometimes I can even be cold and uncaring in trying to tell the truth. I'll lend you my shoulders (to a point) for your sob stories...sure. But don't let those sob stories interfere with your work or use them as an excuse for poor performance. If you can't keep up, remove yourself from the job and let someone else more competent take your spot. No hard feelings.

I'll only put up with it for one reason and one reason only -- if you have creative talent that surpasses your pain-in-the-ass-ness.

Is that bad? Is it just me?

(UPDATE: Yep... I was in one of my moods when I wrote this... oh well.)

Image: http://www.theodoresworld.net/archives/2009/07/judges_dont_belong_on_the_batt.html

The "Golden Rule" in practice

Now... this is what I'm talking about. I could not agree more. However, putting ourselves in the other person's mindset... I mean, trying to really THINK like they think, see exactly what they see... has to be the hardest thing to achieve. I'm not sure if I agree with the part about the terrorists, though. That also involves religion, which messes up all logical thinking and complicates things at a whole new level. Anyway, his thoughts are very much worth pondering:

What is higher education?

Okay... the image is an inside joke, representing Professor Teeth. Don't ask. Anyway, on with the rant.

During class, I often have so many questions and so many thoughts about what is being presented. I always want to explore other perspectives... other points of view. Even if I agree... and especially if I agree strongly. Two weeks ago, I posed a question to my history professor via email about a passionate lecture he gave... but it was not well received. Obviously, he knows much more about the subject being taught than myself. My only goal is to learn to think better. I was not looking to challenge him. I was looking for some bouncing back and forth of thoughts. But a professor who doesn't want to discuss another possible point of view with a student? Hmm...

The psychology class is another doozy. There is just so much material to be covered, and the information gets presented from the text book as if that is the way it is. The professor is willing to listen to questions, but there is a tight agenda for each class and, as a matter of fact, for the whole semester, and serious discussion is not possible.

Then there are the classes where we spend hours upon hours to write a paper, and it sits in the professor's inbox for weeks on end or we get it back with a letter grade and very little feedback. What meaning does a 4.0 GPA have when there is no satisfaction of having grown and matured in my thinking?

In each class, we are told that we should think critically. Yet there is not enough allowance (in time or attitude) for discussion or any serious questions to explore another view. I started college for the opportunity to think with other thinkers. But instead, I'm just getting more high school at an accelerated speed. Perhaps this will change when I get to the university? when I get into upper level classes...?

Is it just me?

Free at Last!!

Yay! I deleted my twitter account, and now I can think freely on here (sort of).

Let's try... Hmm... yeah.

Hmmmmm...... oooh yeah.

HMMMMMMMM..... Ahhh~

Ciao for now!

Image: http://us.sanyo.com/Think-GAIA