What do you do all day?

Breanne Potter is running a contest on her blog, and the prize she is offering is the most awesome of all time, although I already have all that she is offering. I’m entering anyway, because I like to win.

She asks the question, “What do you do all day?” to which the first thought that pops into my head is, “I have no earthly idea where the time goes, but it goes.” As an ISTJ, Breanne gives a play-by-play report of her morning activities. Taking her cue, let me give you an account of what my day as an ENTP was like today. See if you can pick out the behaviors that fit my preferences:

• 8:00ish - The alarm clock goes off only after four hours of sleep. I was up late trying to finish up 80% of what was on my to-do list after 10:00 pm last night but passed out from exhaustion with just a couple more things left to do.
• 8:30ish - Still in bed trying to wake up… I have to finish up my presentation before the 10am meeting with my pastor.
• Sometime before 8:45 - Out of bed and at my desk, frantically making last minute revisions and printing.
• Sometime after that – phone rings. Neighbor has a question. Get involved in conversation and forget what time it is.
• 9:20ish – OMG!! I have to get ready! Off the phone.
• 15 minutes (give or take) to shower, dress, put on minimal make-up, and quickly dry hair – record time!
• 9:40ish – Back at the computer. More changes need to be made. Quick! Print again. Take a moment to admire my own work.
• 9:50ish – Grab coffee, folders, laptop, and purse and into the garage… run back for cell phone and a pack of gum.
• I suddenly remember that I agreed to attend a luncheon today without realizing that I have another afternoon meeting. I call the hostess and tell her that it probably will be a very short lunch for me.
• 10:10 am – Run into the meeting at full speed, profusely apologizing, etc.
• 12:00ish – meeting runs over; I’m late for the luncheon and have only a little over an hour before the next meeting. Calculate in my head (15 minutes there; 20 minutes to eat; 15 minutes to get back – just enough time!)
• It takes 25 minutes there; 30 minutes to visit; and 25 minutes to get back – complete miscalculation!!
• 1:35 pm – Terribly, terribly late for 1:15 meeting. Walk into the meeting hanging my head in shame.
• 3:45ish – As I’m pulling into the driveway, I realize I have nothing planned for dinner. Back out of the driveway and to the grocery store.
• 4:30ish - Back home, put groceries away, and to my desk to check emails. Start researching something that was brought up at the meeting.
• 5:30ish – Husband comes home and snaps me out of my web trance. Dinner? He asks. I bolt into the kitchen and whip up something for dinner, again in record time. (Most things I do is in record time.)
• 6:30ish – Clean up. Chat with daughter for about 20 min.
• 7:00ish – Back to work until maybe 11:00ish, which will probably end up being after midnight because I just realized that I failed to make a to-do list today, which is why it’s now after 9:00 but I haven’t done any work other than blogging.

Today just happened to be a little crazier than usual; but generally, it is typical of my style. Okay…don’t judge me too quickly. I’m not proud of it! If you will notice, I know the precise times when I walked in late to the meetings, which means that I feel awful about it and want to correct it. My goal is to have a completely flawless “ish” day, which will indicate that everything was accomplished somewhat within the proposed time frame. ;-)


Now your turn... What's your type preference, and what do YOU do all day?

A typical dialogue between "S" and "N" preferences

I have a tendency to get deeply philosophical regardless of what subject I am talking about. This drives my husband and my son crazy, both of whom have an “S” (Sensing) preference. My daughter, a fellow “N” (iNtuitive), is usually a trooper about thinking along with me.

Here’s a typical S/N dialogue between my son and I:

Son: Do you prefer X or Z?

Me: It depends… are you asking because you have a preference and want it validated?

Son: No, I just wanna know what you like.

Me: Will my answer influence the way you see X or Z?

Son: No, just tell me if you like X or Z!

Me: I will have to first ask what makes X behave like an X. Is it affected by the Z? Do you think Z would also look like an X if it were not assumed that it is a Z? I also wonder if X may not at all be an X but just perceived to be one compared to Z. In that case, they may both be Zs and one is just a little less Z than the other.

Son: Are you gonna give me an answer?

Me: There are no answers. Because if they are both Xs or both Zs, then the choice no longer exists. Will you please explain to me why you think X is X?

Son: I don’t know why I bother asking you these questions…

Me: No, wait!! Now you’ve got me thinking. Let’s think together about this… hmmm…

Son: (gone)

MBTI Type and Teams

When I first became a qualified (now certified) MBTI practitioner in May of this year, I was excited, wide-eyed, and overwhelmed. I had no idea where to begin, but as an ENTP, I accepted the challenge and decided to dive into the task of designing my first workshop. At the same time, I mentioned this in a post on one of my (other) blogs. Breanne Potter of CPP found the post and left a comment. The rest of the ongoing story of my MBTI journey can be seen on this very blog, which was created as a result of being inspired by Breanne's The MBTI Blog.

True to my N and P preferences, this blog has turned into a smörgåsbord of sorts, but I generally try to stay to the topics involving the MBTI and psychology (and philosophy, which in essence is very closely related to psychology, n'est pas?). That's the best I can do for now as far as having a focus... :-(

Taking Breanne's advice, I joined the CPP IconSuccess site (she wrote about it again in a recent post), wherein I found the information (which she posted in the forum) about the awesome MBTI® Practitioner Success Pack, which includes over $1,000 worth of materials for half the price. It has been a life-saver for me and played a crucial role in my growth as a practitioner. The kit includes everything a beginning practitioner could ask for/about and much, much more. I'm forever finding new and very helpful information in this treasure box full of goodies, which brings me to the subject at hand.

I have been recently involved in re-organizing the counseling ministry at my church. As a participating member in the restructuring of the ministry, I am actively involved in the organizational development process. I have also become the designated in-house MBTI trainer.

While looking through the pile of booklets to find information on communication, decision-making, and team-building, I came upon "Introduction to Type and Teams," written by Elizabeth Hirsh, Katherine W. Hirsh, and Sandra Krebs Hirsh. It is exactly what I needed in order for us to start off on the right foot.

Our organization currently has four initial members: INTP, ESTJ, ENTP, and INFJ

These are the summaries of what each can bring to the team, as set forth in the book:

INTP: Hallmark - Logic

Analytical, intellectual, and ingenious, INTPs work well when they can operate independently, search for truth, and use rational approaches to solve complex problems. Their curiosity leads them to research theories, contemplate what makes things work, and discover the long-term consequences of any given strategy or plan.

ESTJ: Hallmark - Decisiveness

Logical, directive, and organized, ESTJs work well when they can marshal and manipulate resources, implement plans, and accomplish tasks. They find and correct flaws, monitor events, and hold everyone accountable. Hard-working and responsible, they seek practical, realistic solutions to difficulties.

ENTP: Hallmark - Initiative

Perceptive, adaptable, and clever, ENTPs work well when they can take on challenges, improvise conceptual frameworks, and rally others to conquer issues strategically. They bring an inventive spirit to entrepreneurial endeavors, embrace change and innovation, and see ways of doing things that are not immediately obvious.

INFJ: Hallmark - Integrity

Insightful, inspiring, and creative. INFJs work well when they can concentrate on what matters to people, quietly exert influence, and model integrity. They envision ways to reach long-range goals, want to develop an atmosphere of mutual trust, and organize people and processes so that all benefit.

Now tell me.... how can we NOT succeed? :-)

Guest Post: Millennials and the Meaning of Life

This is a guest post by Ruthie:

I work as a teaching assistant at a large Midwestern research university, where I also attend as a graduate student.

Last week, in a meeting with one of the professors for whom I work, the touchy topic of the Millennial Generation arose. The professor lamented the fact that the new generation of students seem entitled, self-important, and perpetually plugged in. Realizing that I’m 23, she quickly added: “Not you, of course.”

But she’s right—the new generation of 20-somethings, myself included, are beginning to see education as a right and not a privilege—and they have never known a world without instantaneous communication. I had my first cell phone at 15. I can hardly remember life before the Internet.

We are, some say, a generation adrift—devoid of purpose or meaning in a poststructuralist, postmodern world. We have been taught that culture is relative, that truth is subjective, that the self is a social construct.

The logical conclusion of these base assumptions, paired with an ever-evolving spiderweb of technology, has led our generation to be more image-conscious than any generation that came before. The very hearts of our identities are shaped by people’s perceptions of us—we are self-indulgent, cripplingly open about our private lives, even narcissistic.

In a lab section that I lead on Fridays, several of my students were required to take the VALS test as part of a marketing assignment. We discussed their lifestyle categories, and I asked them if any of them had ever taken the MBTI assessment. To my surprise, many of them had, and their responses and comments about their categorization within the two tests were among the most enthusiastic and interesting I’d seen all semester.

This, I think, is because we are a generation that prides itself on individuality—we see it as the highest good, the most sought-after goal. The students in my lab section are like the rest of us—dying to know themselves at some true, essential level, apart from social constructs and other people’s perceptions. Looking for meaning within the ephemeral and the subjective.

And so the meaning of life for the Millennial generation is expression—the only way to validate a fleeting existence limited by perception.

We are experiencers and consumers, learning to craft our public images via Myspace and Facebook, seeking to better market ourselves to universities and prospective employers. But in the context of a brave new 21st-century society, I think most of us realize that neither consumption nor personal experience can give us ultimate, transcendent meaning. Our lives, both public and private, are particular to us, and one day both they (and we) will be gone.

I believe this is what we’re afraid of. We, who have spent our lives immersed in instantaneous technology since infanthood, are afraid of fading away unnoticed. We are afraid that our tiny voices will be swept away in the mad torrent of this information age.

We are afraid of becoming obsolete.

And so expression—the validation of our existence by preserving it in some form—in pictures, Myspace and Facebook pages, blogs, journals, music and art—has become the highest good, the purest form of meaning.

I hope the older generations can forgive us our flightiness and our narcissism, our iPods and our text messages.

We, like every generation that came before, crave permanence, fulfillment and meaning—meaning that, for many of us, can only be attained through expression.

"Multiple Intelligences" by Howard Gardner

From the book Multiple Intelligences: New Horizons by Howard Gardner:

I believe that in our society we suffer from three biases, which I have nicknamed "Westist," "Testist," and "Bestist." "Westist" involves putting certain Western cultural values, which date back to Socrates, on a pedestal. Logical thinking, for example, is important; rationality is important; but they are not the only virtues.

"Testist" suggests a bias towards focusing on those human abilities or approaches that are readily testable. If it can't be tested, it sometimes seems, it is not worth paying attention to. My feeling is that assessment can be much broader, much more humane than it is now and that psychologists should spend less time ranking people and more time trying to help them.

"Bestist" is a thinly veiled reference to David Halberstam's 1972 book The Best and the Brightest. Halberstam's title referred ironically to the figures, among them Harvard faculty members, who were brought to Washington to help President John F. Kennedy and in the process launched the Vietnam War. I think any belief that all the answers to a given problem like in one certain approach, such as logical-mathematical thinking, can be very dangerous. current views of intellect need to be leavened with other, more comprehensive points of view.

When he refers to assessments in the second paragraph above, he's referring to tests such as IQ and the SAT.

He proposes an individual-centered learning environment that takes the multifaceted view of intelligence, based on findings from the cognitive science and neuroscience.

I see Jung written all over the cognitive portion of it, don't you?

Gardner's theory began with seven very different but equally important intelligences:

• Musical Intelligence
• Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence
• Logical-Mathematical Intelligence
• Linguistic Intelligence
• Spatial Intelligence
• Interpersonal Intelligence
• Intrapersonal Intelligence

He later added an eighth:

• Naturalist Intelligence

He also looked at a ninth intelligence, calling it Existential Intelligence (has to do with the spiritual and the big questions of life), but did not have conclusive findings. (yet!) ;-)

HILLIGraphy - Seeds for the Soul

Another page from Chuck Hillig's Seeds for the Soul:

Don't rescue anyone by trying to do their inner work for them.

You'll only be discounting their strength and discouraging them from developing their own untapped resources

Instead, give yourself permission to allow them to completely and totally fail...if failing seems to be what's on their path.

If you keep handing someone a crutch, they'll surely learn how to limp.

Board Meeting: Time to refocus and reorganize

• Subject: Redefine the purpose of Mindblink Blog
• Board members: Me, myself, and I
• Concerns: Mindblink is losing direction and focus (where were we going with this?)

I have created this blog after being inspired by The MBTI Blog of Breanne Potter as a means to stay connected to the MBTI community and also to share my new passion with others who may not be familiar with the type theory. As I have a tendency to make everything broader than they need to be, my focus can easily get scattered. Judith Grutter, who was my teacher for my on-line Strong Interest Inventory qualification, pointed to the fact that:

if I try to do everything, I will most likely end up doing nothing.

...Simple statement with so much truth in it... I've been chewing on that thought for a couple of weeks now, trying to digest it and find a focus.

I have been readjusting my goals and my vision as far as my career path is concerned, and it's slowing becoming more clear as I think through it. I've come too far to just let it fizzle out into nothing.

I am here to address the issues concerning this blog. I am reaching deep to get in touch with my out-of-preference and underdeveloped "S" and "J" functions. It requires frequent deep breaths and great concentration, but it's time to make some clarifications and find a focus here:

1. Psychology will be the main focus of this blog. While it is true that I believe psychology applies to everything in life, it is also true that "everything" is simply too broad of a topic.


2. I will resurrect my other blogs to write about my thoughts that don't quite seem to fit into the category of psychology and MBTI.


3. Other writers here whom I have invited to co-author this blog will be requested to post at least once every 4-6 weeks. I will do my best to suggest appropriate topics.


4. As for myself, I will be writing about my new discoveries and lessons that I learn as I continue in my growing process as it applies to psychology in general, and to MBTI in particular.


5. Staying within the context of #4 stated above, I will continue to think, ask questions, learn as much as I can, and share what I've learned in a way that is palatable and easy-to-comprehend.
   


6. Nothing is ever written in stone with me, but I will try this "focus" thing for a while and see how it goes...

I've been tagged... to reveal six random things about me

I’ve been tagged.

Thank you, Breanne, for keeping me in the loop. This sounds like fun. Let’s see… six random things about me:

1. I have three birthdays: January 15, my real birthday; February 15, my official birthday (paperwork mishap when we moved to the U.S. in 1976); and April 23, my Christian birthday [what I call my “mind blink” moment – you can listen to my testimony here (5/25/2008 recording)].


2. I speak two languages, English and Korean. I’m also bi-cultural. I have two sets of friends. It requires two different mindsets. I can be fully immersed in either group, but not at the same time.


3. I worked as an Investigative Specialist on the Special Surveillance Group (SSG) Squad in the New York Office of the FBI in the late 1980s and early 1990s.


4. I sing every Sunday as part of the Praise and Worship Team at my church.


5. I have two other blogs here and here.


6. Sixth random fact about me: "Random" is a funny word to me. I can take any random thing and find a way to connect it to the bigger picture. Ha!

Now, I must pass this chain on to six new friends...

1) Hugo - http://ttm.appspot.com/blog/
2) Ruthie - http://ruthie-zaftig.blogspot.com/
3) Allison - http://musings.meanderwithme.com/
4) Matt - http://www.aninsomniac.co.uk/
5) Miller - http://skepticsplay.blogspot.com/
6) Matt Stone - http://mattstone.blogs.com/glocalchristianity/ - (relieved from this task due to lack of interest) ;-)

New 6) Richard Wade - http://www.mindblink.org/search/label/Richard%20Wade

Here are the rules:

1) Link to the person who tagged you. Please see above.
2) Post the rules on the blog.
3) Write six random things about yourself.
4) Tag six people at the end of your post.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged.
6) Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Tag! YOU'RE IT!!

UPDATE: Miller, Matt, and Ruthie - you guys are awesome and a good sport! Matt Stone was not interested in humoring me at all. At least Allison and Hugo are fixing to get ready to think about perhaps considering the possibility of taking a few minutes to ponder a few interesting facts about themselves. C'mon people! Where is your sense of child-like play? :-( I took back the tag from Matt Stone and decided to tag someone else who I know is all about not taking life too seriously and who knows how to take a few minutes have fun once in a while. That person is none other than our very own Richard Wade! Tag, Richard! Please don't make me a liar. ;-)

Thoughts from a Frenchman... Oui! :-)

Here's a wonderful quote by Marcel Proust from the book, How Proust Can Change Your Life, by Alaine de Botton:

Our vanity, our passions, our spirit of imitation, our abstract intelligence, our habits have long been at work, and it is the task of art to undo this work of theirs, making us travel back in the direction from which we have come to the depths where what has really existed lies unknown within us.
~ Marcel Proust

In other words... Reach deep; be brave; be creative; BEEEEEEE YOURSELF!

HILLIGraphy - Seeds for the Soul

Periodically, I will be posting pages from Chuck Hillig's wonderfully insightful book, "Seeds for the Soul." Here's the first of many that I will introduce you to:

Your feelings are not problems to be solved, obstacles to be overcome or difficulties to be denied.

They're only passing phenomena on your path that are inviting you to experience them fully.

But don't turn down their invitation. If you won't let them be as they are, the won't let you be as you are.

For example, if you ignore you feelings when they show up for you on the doorstep of your heart, they'll surely hassle you for your lack of respect.

They'll disappear into your unconscious for a while, but when they come back to you...and they will... they'll be brininging some friends!!!

He has a way of gently and playfully nudging you into your thinking zone. :-)

Learning to Shift Our Preconceived Mental Models

Here's another video that you may find interesting:

Jonathan Drori: Why we don’t understand as much as we think we do


It seems that I've been stuck on this theme for some time now. The more I dig, the more fascinated I become. Although this video mainly deals with our misconceptions about science, I think the same concept applies to all other aspects of life.

The following points especially stood out to me:

• We learn through experience more than from the teachers in a classroom.


• Once we have stored information in our minds, we look for evidence to reinforce our misconceptions.


• There are people all too able to provide that evidence and/or to create other barriers to new and accurate information.


• Neither we nor our children are empty vessels, as we are constantly gathering and accumulating data.


• Our early mental models are extremely persistent and difficult to shift.

I think we can apply this to just about every bias or pre-existing idea we have regarding race, culture, religion, gender roles, politics, tradition, and even our idea of God.

It's true that it is extremely difficult to look at any new information with a completely clean slate without any preconceived notions we have learned through someone else teaching us. hmmm...

I think the key is to always try to think and experience things for ourselves.

Our Internet Dependency

While I was trying to get inspired to write a worthy post, I stumbled upon the following Nokia ad with the tag line: "Welcome to the fourth screen."

Watch it if you haven't seen it already; it's only 2:22 long. It's simply brilliant. Can I hire these people to do my marketing?



Let's step back and take a look at this. They are selling the idea of dragging people out of their basements and into the streets so we can have interaction with real people. It is interesting that a way to accomplish this is to make a mini-screen that is portable, instead of actually encouraging interaction with real people as real people.

Let's take yet another step back and take a look at ourselves. There is so much truth in this picture. It makes me think. Are we slowly becoming (or have already become) people who are afraid of people? Are we becoming more and more isolated with the help of new technology? Are we becoming people who are so anti-conflict, anti-social, anti-failure and have such a fear of rejection that we would rather express ourselves and share ideas through the security blanket of a computer screen?

Or is the new technology actually helping us to reach out to people that we would not have dreamed of meeting otherwise? This Internet world, the world-wide web that I have become so attached to in such a short time... Is it really helping us? or is it actually hurting us?

I'd like to believe it is the former; because for now, it helps me stay connected to other thinkers and also my sanity.

My concluding thought is this: Just like anything else, new technology is only a tool.

No idea, concept, technology, or theory is good or bad in itself. It's what we make of it. Some will use it for good; some will use it for evil. Some will benefit positively; some will benefit negatively.

Ultimately, each of us has to think for ourselves and take responsibility for our own actions.

Perceptions - New information colored by the old?

It's interesting how people perceive things so differently. We all have stored information in our brains, a database if you will, that influences how we see things. I really don't know if there is any way around it. As we go through life, we are constantly compiling information into our brains. Any new information that we approach is affected, however slight, by what is already stored in our memory.

This post is in response to Richard’s post from yesterday, which referred to a simple list that I posted for fun without considering any possible misunderstandings it may cause. My immediate reaction was to be defensive about the type theory and CPP’s publications, which I hold in high regard. I also have great respect for my friend’s (also co-author for this blog) thoughts and opinions. I even felt somewhat responsible for whatever negative feelings it may have caused, and I searched to find some validity in his concerns. I tried (with great difficulty) to make a conscious effort to remove my bias on the subject to see the different perspectives. Remember Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Blink, and the idea of “thin-slicing?”

Let’s look at the facts:

Fact #1: There are many misconceptions about the MBTI instrument and the type theory in general.

Fact #2: Type alone cannot fully describe or explain the complexities of the human psyche.

Fact #3: Intention is the reality to the person giving the information; perception is the reality to the person receiving the information.

Fact #4: There’s no such thing as “one size fits all” personality type. But in order to make sense of the theory, some categorizing is necessary.

Fact #5: We must not dismiss the honest criticisms that are voiced if our desire is to educate, inform, and reach more people for a better understanding of ourselves and each other.

I am thinking about starting “Jung’s Type for Dummies” series once a week in hopes of helping people to understand the theory and (possibly) get past some of the misconceptions. Don’t hold me to it; it’s just an idea at this point (ENTP, etc.). I'm not an expert, so I'll need your help to discuss my limited knowledge.

I would conduct another poll to see what you guys think about this idea, but we know how that goes… the same two people will vote, and it will be a tie. :-(

Anyway, thank you, Richard…for being brave and bold enough to share your perspective in an honest yet tactful manner. Please feel free to show me (and others) more.

Guest Post: It's Just a Word

The following is a guest post by Richard Wade:


I waited a whole week to think about commenting on this because at first I was angry for personal reasons that you’ll find below. If I indulge my first impulse when I’m angry, I usually regret it. But now I’ve calmed down and I’d like to talk about something that was in the list of Decision Making Styles from the book “Introduction to Type and Decision Making” that Linda posted on August 30.

I am an ESTP and I take great exception to the authors using the word “expedient” to characterize how ESTPs make their decisions. No matter what dictionary you use, the second meaning, nowadays the meaning most often intended, is to me a deep insult. It means “Based on or marked by a concern for self-interest rather than principle; self-interested.” The word is loosely related to “expeditious” but in “expedient” that efficient, quick-problem-solving quality is always linked to tossing out any inconvenient principle like fairness, honesty or compassion in order to get what one wants. If you have a dictionary that does not portray this ruthless, selfish quality in the word “expedient,” throw it away because you may end up inadvertently seriously offending someone.

None of the other adjectives in the list carry such a negative meaning. I would have been delighted to have been represented by “pragmatic” (concerned with what works) or “sensible” (as in making sense) or even the rather cold sounding, Mr. Spock “logical,” but all those were already taken by other types. “Prudent” (having good sense in dealing with practical matters) would have been fine, or “efficient” (getting the most effect with the least effort) but no, I and my ultimate realist fellow ESTPs got smeared with “expedient.”

Here’s why I’m touchy about being called that: I was once wrongfully accused of an ethical transgression and spent a sleepless year fighting for my professional reputation as well as a goodly sum of my salary that was withheld from me. My employer offered me a settlement to dismiss the consequences if I just admitted to the offense. Since it was a complete lie, that would have gone against my principles of honesty and commitment to the truth.

That would have been expedient.

Because it was a lie and because I knew that they knew it was a lie, I told my employer to carefully but deeply insert that offer into their rectal orifice. My immediate supervisor knew that the charge was bogus, but he pretended that he believed it and supported my being punished because, he admitted later, it put him in a better standing with his boss. He rationalized that he would be able to stay in the position to make changes for the better. Horse crap. He lied and left me to fight it out on my own for his own selfish interests.

He was being expedient.

I question the wisdom of ever using single adjectives to characterize the 16 types, even in a brief overview such as these. I have been told that they are chapter headings in the book. The other single adjectives may seem correct to most of those who read the chapters about themselves, but those adjectives are certainly not complete. The problem is that most people will not bother to read the entire descriptions of types other than their own. They’ll remember the quickie, single sentence sound byte: “ESTPs are expedient.” The type becomes a stereotype.

This way of characterizing the types may help people have a quick, efficient, “expeditious” grasp of a type’s general aura, but when that convenience uses a characterization that is hurtful,

it is being expedient.

I’m interested in understanding the authors’ rationale for distilling ESTPs’ decision making style into the single word “expedient” but I don’t really want to spend $13.25 plus shipping just to read that chapter on the chance that it will soothe my hurt feelings. Perhaps Katherine Hirsh, who sometimes visits here or anyone else could help me understand?

- Richard Wade

Two Types of People

I've been dragging my feet and coming up with excuse after excuse for over 20 years why I'm not doing anything with my life. First, it was my marriage, then it was the house, then it was the kids, then it was the money... etc. etc. etc.

One of my favorite things to say is: "You need no stinking credentials to do what you want to do." Uhhh... but the reality is, yes you do. We live in a world today where education and credentials mean everything (well, enough to be dismissed if you don't have them). Isn't that what we tell our kids?

I've concluded that there are two types of people who say, "You need no stinking credentials...":

1. Those who have the credentials


2. Those who are too lazy, too stupid, or unable in some way, shape or form to get the credentials.

If you are not in either category, then you have no right to say it. I hereby revoke my right that I always thought I had. I will get those stinking credentials, if it's the last thing I do.

And several years from now, after I've worked my a(**) off earning that right, I will stand proudly before you and say,

"You need no stinking credentials..."

MBTI Type and Humor

WARNING: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. THIS POST MAY BE CONSIDERED OFFENSIVE TO THOSE WHO LACK A SENSE OF HUMOR AND/OR WHO TAKE LIFE WAY TOO SERIOUSLY.

If that is the case, try to lighten up, will ya?

This piece about religion and type was recently brought to my attention, and I found it to be absolutely hilarious (and quite insightful).

That got me wondering whether our preferences influence our ability to appreciate different types of humor. I'm guessing that would be the S/N preference...?

Thank you, Richard, for the link.

HILLIGraphy - Everything Changes, Everything Ends

Everything Changes, Everything Ends
by Chuck Hillig

Nobody can foresee the future with absolute certainty, and much of life seems extremely random and unpredictable. The real inconvenient truth is that anything can happen to anybody.

Although we all hope we’ll make it through another day, deep down we know that’s not going to be the case for everyone. No one is guaranteed that they’ll see the next sunset. Because life can change in an instant, we don’t really live day-to-day. We live breath-to-breath. We’re only given so many heartbeats, and that total number is decidedly finite. Everyone is in countdown mode; we’re all “pre-death.”

It’s easy, though, to avoid including ourselves among those chosen today for the hereafter. “Hey,” we object, “I’m not going to check out. I’m young and healthy. I don’t smoke, do drugs or drive drunk. Dying is for older people.” What we really mean, though, is that dying is for other people.

However, by excluding our names from being part of the daily lottery, we slip sideways into an unconscious place of plausible deniability. But no one ever gets out alive, and every time we argue with reality, we’re going to lose.

And here’s part of that harsh reality: we could be doing every-thing “right,”…and still get hurt. Consider 9-11. Consider the tsunami. Consider Virginia Tech.

Beneath the thin veneer of safety and security, we’re each walking alone through our own private labyrinth, and nobody knows how close they are to arriving at their center. We know there are dangerous minotaurs in there, too, and we just hope that we won’t meet any of them today. But, sooner or later, our path will cross one of them because, inevitably, it always does. Life moves on for the living, but, for everyone else…game over.

As much as we would like to have more control over what happens to us, we know that absolute certitude and risk-free living is impossible to achieve. But, if we want to play in this manifested wonderland, those are life’s terms. And, unless we’re willing to fully live the risk that life is, we’re not going to have much of a life at all.

So, in the light of our body’s vulnerability and the random ca-price of fate, how do we live our life with purpose and meaning? Do we withdraw into the familiar and relative comfort of our own melodramas, or are we trying to find a path with a heart?

Here’s the real question: Do we want a safe life, or do we want an authentic life?

Being authentically human requires that you live in, and from, a place of absolute integrity. It requires that you find the courage to speak your truth, to others and to yourself, moment to moment. Whatever feelings you don’t own, own you. Emotional congru-ency is achieved when your “insides” match your “outsides.”

Sending double messages to others invites misinterpretation and creates both confusion and fear. The choice is yours: if you’re not willing to be who you already are, then who are you going to be? Take your pick. Tell your truth or tell your lie.

Living authentically in the “now” requires that you have the courage to face your own mortality, moment to moment. To help you stay focused on being fully present, practice living each day as if it’s your last. Pretend, for example, that no matter what you do, you won’t be alive to see the next sunrise. There’s just no way out. In less than 24 hours, you’ll be dead.

Coming from that perspective, wouldn’t it be much easier to experience your life, no matter how simple your actions might be, as being truly extraordinary? Wouldn’t the approaching finality of it all serve to greatly intensify the experience of even the most mundane occurrences in your day: enjoying a cup of coffee, lis-tening to a song on the radio or watching a beautiful sunset?

How much more conscious and aware of your actions would you be if you knew that this, right now, would be the very last time that you’d be doing it? How much more fully present in the con-versation would you be if you knew for certain that this was the very last time that you’ll ever talk to your parent or to your child?

This isn’t some kind of idle speculation. Eventually, all of this will be the case for every last one of us. Sooner or later, we’re all going to be doing everything for the very final time. Mercifully, we just don’t know which occasion will be the last.

But, as co-creators of our own lives, our experiences in the world are shaped by what we say about it. The universe is com-pelled to provide the evidence that helps us to continue to support our beliefs. Because it automatically aligns itself in accordance with our definitions, life mostly delivers what we expect it to deliver.

Although death is unavoidable, your choice to fully participate in what life offers is completely optional. For example, if you want to stay up in the grandstands and do very little with your life, that’s perfectly OK. Some people die years before they’re actually buried and, in truth, the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

But most of it is about perception. When you choose to con-sciously change how you’re looking at things, then the things that you’re looking at will begin to change. The real problem is that everyone wants to change the world; they just don’t want to change themselves.

But life was going on long before you showed up in it. After all, “it is what it is.” You can live more deliberately by willingly embracing life’s vagaries and by staying more focused on the present moment. Then, through your gratitude for every breath you take, you become increasingly conscious of the joy of being truly alive and fully human.

Bre-Day #2

It's time for another BRE-DAY!

While I was writing an earlier post, I got on this thought exploration about the T/F difference in males and females, then it went from there onto our ability/inability to show our vulnerabilities, and then to the question of why some of us are afraid to reveal ourselves. I tossed the following questions to Breanne to create today's Bre-Day post. Anyone up for a discussion?

Linda: I watch people. I’ve been watching people closely on this blog and on others. I have a T/F question for you. Statistically, there are more male T’s than female T’s, correct? I am a female T. You are a female T. I’m noticing that there is a definite difference between males and females in their T-ness. Do you think this is true? The male T loves debating and verbal sparring. They thrive on the serious intellectual sparring and competition. Female T’s, although they immensely enjoy the same to a certain point, seem to only be able to take so much of it. And then we must take a break and have some fun. Is it the machismo thing? Is it a cultural influence that it is more acceptable for females to be vulnerable, artistic, and loving? Is there more pressure on the male T to go deeper into their T in a public arena?

Bre: Wow! Very interesting question. I have to say I’m probably not your typical T female when it comes to verbal sparring. I’ll go to the ends of the earth to “win.” My friends used to say I enjoyed to debate for the sake of the debate…not the issue. As I mature, I’ve learned to pick my battles more intelligently, but I still take any competition very seriously. That could be a trait issue (one that runs in my family). However, I can see your theory about T Females taking a break from intellectual sparring, but I wonder if that is due to societal expectations. It still holds true that men are seen as competitive and strong in debates, but women are seen as the “B word.” I have had many females come to me and say that they were not comfortable in their “own skin” until they understood their MBTI® results and that their approach to decision making wasn’t counter to their gender, but just a personality preference. I’ll be honest, I’ve never felt that way myself.

Linda: That brings me to the vulnerability question. Do you think some types are more open to showing their vulnerability than others? The mask that we put on for the public…do you think that is influenced by type?

Bre: It definitely seems like we’re tapping the T/F function here. The “people-pleasing/harmony seeking” part of the F preference would seem more likely to shape to the expectations of the crowd, but I’m making a guess there. I wonder if people are more likely to “act” like the types of those around them. When I visit my company’s bi-annual conference, I temper my strong ISTJ preferences, because the company is clearly ENFP. I resist the urge to yell “So?” and “We’re so off the topic!” I go more with the flow there because I am matching the culture. I think we all tend to gravitate towards the path of least resistance. Maybe that is wearing a mask or putting on an act, or maybe that’s just compromising.

Linda: Why do you think some people are afraid to look at themselves? David Rees pointed out in one of his comments:

"MBTI requires a level of self examination that many people are not willing to perform. It is too uncomfortable and too scary - much safer and much more fun to just flock with your own kind and rant about how wrong everyone else is."

I think is very true. Fear is a big factor in determining people’s actions/inaction, correct? However, I think pride is another issue. We pride in already knowing ourselves and having a firm control of ourselves. We call this maturity, don’t we? When we find ourselves “in the grip,” we feel very “immature,” correct? So we do not allow it, keep it under very tight wraps, and show it to the only few that we trust the most.

Bre: This always surprises me. What is there to be afraid of? I understand when people have a misconception about what the MBTI® assesses, that they might be worried about an assessment of mental illness. When I explain that the assessment is just about preferences, the fear usually subsides in exchange for curiosity. I have an online friend who still has not had me debrief her report because she keeps putting it off (perhaps out of fear). I do, however, understand fear of letting others know our preferences. There is probably nothing in the MBTI® report that would shock us about our own results…but what will others do with the information. Will an ISTJ perceive an ENFP as weak? Will the ENFP perceive the ISTJ as rigid?
It is all about maturity…and trust. We must trust ourselves and others to encourage understanding and build stronger lines of communication.

Linda: Do you think ultimately, humans are too proud to allow ourselves to be human? And when we find that we are only human, we are then afraid to admit it? I’ve always thought that most of our problems come from fear, shame, and guilt. Do you think it is our human-ness that we are fearful of, ashamed of, or feel guilty about? So we have to go around pretending that we are not human?

Bre: I think it could be that we are worried what others will think if we show our flaws. I know my own flaws, and am secure with my areas for development, but that doesn’t mean I’m outspoken about those issues. I hypothesize that as we grow older, we let down the walls around us and begin showing our true selves. I was at a store the other day and some elderly ladies came in all dressed up in their Red Hat Society apparel (loud purple dresses and big red hats- here’s a link to see pics: http://www.redhatsociety.com/). I immediately thought “Good for them! It must be so wonderful not to care what others think about how you look and just have fun!”

I don’t think it’s our human-ness that we are fearful of, I think it’s other’s reactions to our human-ness that we fear the most. Life is just High School with money and fancier cars.

Dumb and Dumber...

BBC News posted this story the other day about South Korea's alarming suicide rates, "one of the highest in the developed world."

For me, this is a blow to the solar plexus. It hits home. It seems to reveal a statistic that I have long suspected.

But as I continued reading the article, my brain came to a screeching halt. I had to do a double take.

Some of the steps they plan on taking to tackle the issue:

• They will build more barriers on station platforms to stop people from jumping under trains.
  


• The regulations controlling the sale of pesticides and other poisons will be tightened.


• Internet sites that encourage suicide will be blocked...
  

(of course, there were other points listed that did make half a sense, but still...)

Is this a joke? Tell me this is a joke. I don't get it.

Too Fast For Ya?

Are my posts being posted too fast? I just have so much to say lately. There's so much that I want to share. I don't even know if anyone got a chance to think about the limerick contest before it got pushed way down on the page by new posts... :-( I guess I will be the only one who enters... *tears*..... *TEARS*..... *TEARS!!*

ENTP limerick:
It's fun to study who's who
To ignorance I say, "Adieu!"
It's the big picture
I don't wanna fracture
Looking for connections is what I do




*sniffle*

The Evil Twin

Breanne recently wrote about her “in the grip” experience when she was out of town. When I read the words, I thought that was a very cool phrase - in the grip... I wanted to be “in the grip” as well, until I found out that it’s not all that fun to be there… :-(

It is an MBTI phrase that describes our out-of-character selves that seem to emerge when we’re stressed or fatigued. It sneaks up on us and "grips" us, thus the term (I'm assuming). In those moments, we feel out of control and strangely “not ourselves.” I’ve always wondered, “Well, is that the real me?” …the me that comes out when I become lax in my self-control? …the person that I have to warn people about with “oh, you haven’t seen the other side of me…” This happens especially when I have been ignored or dismissed. I can go into a deep depression and/or get obsessed with trying to remedy their misconception of my competency (which usually makes it worse). This “monster in the closet” can escape at any given moment, and I have been known to become irrational and lash out at the ones I love and trust the most. This was my secret shame, which I thought was my character flaw that I somehow had to pray away. *sigh*

Okay, I am eggggs…aggerating a bit. It doesn't get that bad (anymore...well, not too often). But let me tell you, it was an eye-opening experience for me to find out about the “in the grip” concept.

I am an ENTP. According to the Jungian theory, my dominant function is Extraverted iNtuition (Ne). My inferior function is Introverted Sensing (Si).

In the book "In The Grip, Understanding Type Stress, and the Inferior Function," published by CPP, the energizers and stressors for ENTP/ENFP are listed as follows:

Energizers: variety and challenge; autonomy in accomplishing tasks; being taken seriously – valued for competence and special skills; freedom to create innovative and effective solutions to problems; permission to delegate implementation of solutions to others; adequate unstructured time

Stressors: having to reach closure too soon; being disrespected – competency doubted; overloaded with details; supervision that is too close and communicates distrust and doubt; too little outside stimulation – too little excitement about projects; rules that inhibit the creative process and drain energy

What comes out as a positive dominant function (Si) in an ISTJ (my husband) or ISFJ (my daughter) as:

solitude and reflection; attention to facts and details; awareness of internal experience

can come out as an inferior function in me as:

withdrawal/depression; obsessiveness; and focus on the body.

I think by “focus on the body," they mean hypochondria. It must be a faux pas to say that, though(?) But I can say it. Ha!, especially since it’s about me. Why must we use an ambiguous phrase and use up a whole paragraph to explain what that means, when one word does the job perfectly??

Coincidentally, just this past Sunday, I skipped church (very unusual for me), didn’t want to see anyone (again, extremely unusual), spent hours fine-tuning my business brochure (which doesn’t look much different after all that), and was convinced that a persistent cramp in my side was cancer.

You can’t make this stuff up!

In all seriousness, though, the information is fascinating and a great tool to understand ourselves better and also get some insight into how to support our loved ones when they are stressed and fall into the “grip” of their inferior functions.

ENTP Rant

I was adding the following comment to one of my previous posts:

AFTER-THOUGHT: Let's keep in mind that we should ask all of these questions when making a sound decision. When we are balanced, we can adjust the way we perceive information, as well as how we make decisions, according to the situation at hand. Type is not a box. Type is not a box. Type is not a box. MBTI is just a guideline and a starting point to look at ourselves in a more pragmatic way.

Then I suddenly remembered all the criticisms I receive from all sides about the subject of MBTI.

And basically, this is my ENTP rant:

As I was writing (and thinking), I remembered those who rolled their eyes at me. I remembered the ones who didn't give it any more credibility than horoscopes or palm readings. I remembered those who didn't believe that I could make something of this knowledge - what I have learned/am learning. I remembered the one who shoved the profile back at me and announced "I don't need a piece of paper to tell me who I am." It took everything in me to smile and keep my composure. Sometimes us Christians are a funny bunch. We have denial down to a science. Why can't we look at everything that is available to us to help us understand ourselves better? Science is fascinating. Psychology is fascinating. Philosophers are not wasting time. They are thinking...trying to make sense of the world. Some scientists laugh at everything they don't understand, including each other's ideas. The religious people judge everything they don't find written in their books, including each other's religion. Which science is more exact? Which religion is more righteous? Everyone sees what they see differently. Our brains are wired differently. The way we use our brains and the order in which we tap into our functions differ from person to person. We ask many questions to come to a decision, but the order in which we prefer to ask them may be different. And it's NOT about personal preferences. We're looking at the cognitive preferences, not personal preferences. And remember, preference does not equal action. Preference is inborn. Behavior is a choice. And... this is not law or religion. It is a mere theory, but it is derived from 60 years of studying and researching patterns in human behavior. It is an idea, concept, study of the brain... in motion, in progress, evolving, just like everything else that has to do with life. And for the most part, it makes sense. For the most part, it seems to fit. It's not perfect. Nothing is perfect. But that's what we have to work with. It's the best we've got. Carl Jung and thinkers like him literally tried to squeeze every cell out of their brains to better understand human nature. They wanted to pass their understanding onto the future generations...us. Tolstoy drove himself to the brink of suicide in his attempts to find answers to his questions. C.S. Lewis swallowed all of his intellectual pride to put his heart out there for all to see so we can take his gained knowledge... his thoughts, and think on them some more. Thomas Jefferson even tried to rewrite the Bible to make sense of religion...to try (if I had to guess) to somehow find a connection between reality and the mystical. Thoreau, Emerson, Nin, Proust, Paul the Apostle, Darwin, Sagan, Alan Watts, Einstein, and even Dawkins... Who are they? Are they any different than you and me trying our best to understand why we are here and what we are doing? And they all have something valuable to say if you would just be willing to step outside of the walls you've built for yourselves for a moment and listen. If someone disagrees with us, there must be a good reason. Let's look at everything. Let's continue to link together what makes sense and put aside what doesn't make sense. And what doesn't make sense today may come into play at another time in another part of the big jigsaw puzzle of life. I want to work on having the courage to face the picture that you see. I want to be open enough to always ask how does it look from your side? Am I willing to see how you see me? How you see the world? It's scary, yes. But show me anyway. My immediate reaction is to kick and scream, cry and whine. Throw a tantrum. Tell you that you are wrong. Grit my teeth and deny it. But wait, what did you say? hmm... let me see... let me adjust my seat, find a different angle, and look again. Ah yes, I see... I can see what I thought was white is actually blue.... and green, and brown, and yellow, and orange... Amazing what a little light can do to our vision...

End of rant.

A World Never Seen Before

I want to dedicate this song to all of you out there who see things through a different lens and teach me (patiently) to see the picture you see. You also teach me to love you by allowing me, in turn, to show you what I see. The expression (and acceptance) of who we are makes us feel alive. It sets us free to love life.

From the Broadway musical Jekyll and Hyde:

(go here to listen)

I peer through windows,
Watch life go by,
Dream of tomorrow,
And wonder "why"?

The past is holding me,
Keeping life at bay,
I wander lost in yesterday,
Wanting to fly -
But scared to try.

But if someone like you
Found someone like me,
Then suddenly
Nothing would ever be the same!

My heart would take wing,
And I'd feel so alive -
If someone like you
Found me!

So many secrets
I've longed to share!
All I have needed
Is someone there,

To help me see a world
I've never seen before -
A love to open every door,
To set me free,
So I can soar!

If someone like you
Found someone like me,
Then suddenly
Nothing would ever be the same!

There'd be a new way to live,
A new life to love,
If someone like you
Found me!

Oh, if someone like you
Found someone like me,
Then suddenly
Nothing would ever be the same!

My heart would take wing,
And I'd feel so alive -
If someone like you
Loved me...
Loved me...
Loved me!...