“I would have hired him but then I learned that he’s a Baptist.” [or substitute Catholic or Lutheran or Jew or Muslim or atheist or Sikh, etc.]
_______
“Yeah blogging is fun but you have to be careful because unless they put up a picture you can’t tell if they’re… you know, Caucasian.” [or substitute African or Latino or Asian or Middle Eastern, etc.]
_______
“Who’s that? He’s cute.”
“Oh him. Yeah, but he’s a Sagittarius. [or substitute Aries or Libra or Scorpio etc.]
Oh, darn. That would never work out. Forget it.”
_______
“I’m having a great time.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“So what’s your MBTI type?
“I’m an ESTP.” [or substitute ISFJ, or ENFP, or ISTJ, etc.]
“Oh……..”
“Something wrong?”
“No, I uh, just realized I’m late for an appointment. Gotta go, bye.”
I have witnessed variations of the first three conversations countless times and if you haven’t yet, eventually you will either be a witness, a participant or a victim of the prejudicial treatment that sadly often comes with categorizing people into groups and types. People who are insecure or immature feel anxiety when meeting strangers, and they are very tempted to grasp at anything that promises to tell them ahead of time information about others before they have to go through the risk and effort of actually getting to know the others. Although assuming that all sorts of traits go with categories of people is usually absurd and unfair, many people think they have an early warning radar system so they can avoid people they think would be “unsuitable” for employment, friendships or relationships.
It’s obvious that the person who is pre-judged suffers, but it is less obvious that the person who does that pre-judging suffers also. They are just as cheated out of gaining friends and allies that they otherwise could have had.
The opposite assumption can be just as destructive. People sometimes put themselves into positions of vulnerability without sufficient knowledge just because they are with someone who fits a category they think is “okay.”
The fourth conversation involving MBTI types might seem far-fetched but it carries the same potential for poorly informed and immature people to misuse it as a social filter, a category sorter for making quick judgments about others at a distance. As Linda has explained to me, this is a gross misuse of its intended purpose. The point is not to help divide people with diverse types but to help their diversity to interact better and enrich each other.
The sixteen MBTI types briefly described by the Myers & Briggs Foundation are not intended to contain the unique complexity of any individual personality. I agree with most of the description of my tested type, but hey wait a minute, over there are parts of me that are well described in some other very different types as well. I want some of that written in my little cameo profile also. Underneath those loosely defined and overlapping types are real people with an infinite number of subtle variables that flavor and color the qualities implied by those four capital letters, whichever they may be.
The point I’m making is this: Never assume that someone will be either more suitable or less suitable for you associating with them because of what type they are. Avoid the temptation to “peg” them positively or negatively ahead of time. You have to get to know them and that takes time, effort, risk and maturity. You certainly would want them to give you a fair chance, so be sure that you’re practicing that fairness on your end.
Despite the fact that my personal principles demand that I treat others fairly, I sometimes catch myself making assumptions about others based on some category long before I have gotten to know them. I have to challenge my pre-judging and remind myself to take each individual as an individual.
This does not mean that we must never make decisions about the suitability of others. Using judgment is not the same as passing judgment. It all has to do with whether or not we have gathered enough information to make a fair judgment. Admittedly, there are no hard lines around how much information is enough to be fair, but a single fact about a person’s membership in a category is not likely to be enough.
Is there anyone reading this who would be willing to acknowledge that they have used types to pre-judge others in the past? Has anyone experienced being on the receiving end of such treatment?
Richard Wade
I have been on both the giving and the receiving end of passing judgment.
ReplyDeletePeople label me as another nerdy Asian math geek or the person who knows everything because of their perfect score in everything. Even my teacher once assumed I had a culture outside of the normal American "melting-pot" culture. I do, somewhat, but I could have been one of the half-Asians whose Asian parent knows nothing of Asian culture and was adopted into an American family when he/she was a baby. Or I could have been the adopted baby. (The teacher also once asked another asian guy--fully Asian--for the 'oriental perspective', and he said, "What the hell does oriental mean?". I'm not judging anyone here, but I think she had it coming. :D )
On the flip side, SJ's, NF's, NT's, SP's, Blacks, Christians (especially born-again, Catholic, and Denominational), Hispanics, Indians, Fatties, People with low or high GPA's (also SOL, AP, SAT, PSAT, ACT, and any other test scores), Preps, Dorks, Jocks, Gingers, Potheads, you name it! I have passed judgment on them all before getting to know them. Even my fellow races--Asians, Whites, and Nerds--go through my preliminary thoughts of, "Oh. He must be/smell cool/weird/annoying/fun/
nice/mean/good/bad/like sushi." However, I don't let negative or positive first impressions based on the 6 senses (my sixth is almost non-existent so must not be trusted) chain me down from acting like myself or treating them fairly.
Of course, most everyone will have their judgments of a person ahead of time, but it is the people who ignore or give very little attention to those judgments that are able to rise above the pettiness of others and become successful in their relationship with the rest of society.
Mostly a rehashing of what you said, but you pretty much said everything already, huh?
Great post, Richard! You pointed out some very valid concerns about type-casting. That is why the MBTI practitioners should always go over the clients' results with them in person (if at all possible) to minimize any misunderstandings about the instrument. We should never use the four-letter type to prejudge, exclude, or discriminate. I think I will post some information outlining the ethical principles and concepts of the MBTI tool.
ReplyDeleteHi Kasey, I appreciate your frankness and honesty about our common bad habit of pre-judging, and I agree with you that it's not so important to never have those jumps to conclusions but as you say to simply not take them seriously. Rather than just rehashing what I said, you helped me to better see the breadth of this tendency to assume big things from little information. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI also have been on both the giving and the receiving end of judgement. I have been judged as a Nazi both for being of German descent and for taking German class. While I have passed judgement on many groups, I am afraid i have been induced into judging people by people who fear more strongly against certain groups. However, i do pride myself in being a generally fair with discarding or ignoring a prejudgement. I have never in the past let my judgement prevent me from getting to know people of judged descent. and as an after thought I have never, when meeting someone, asked them for their MBTI type. I hope you will excuse any bad grammar or misspellings
ReplyDelete